Investment Advice

aingram

Here's another funny that a friend sent to me. Enjoy!

Amanda



INVESTMENT ADVICE


In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/TimeWarner implode, I
wanted to make a few close friends aware of the next expected mergers so
you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in late 2003 and make yourself a bundle!

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush and W.R. Grace
Co. will merge and become Hale-Mary-Fuller-Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and
become Polly-Warner-Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth MMMGood.

4. Zippo Mfg., Audi Motor Car, Dofasco and Dakota Mining will merge to
become ZipAudiDoDa.

5. Federal Express is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and
consolidate as FedUp.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become
Fairwell-Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants.




Never argue with idiots. They drag you down
to their level, then beat you with experience.

psrcello

Then, there's the proposed merger between Yahoo and Netscape - Net'n'Yahoo.

System

I've also heard that the nationwide holding company that designs and gets EPA approval for landfills and dumps is thinking of merging with the folks that make Rid-X and Sani-Flush. The stock will be traded as 'Dump-N-Flush'. I swear I made that up in case you didn't already suspect. (It's raining here! What else can I do on a Saturday afternoon with no REAL football until tonight?)

ray a

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 09-13-03 AT 04:25PM (CST)[/font][p]No real football? Ohio State just won a squeaker in multiple OT's. Or, do they televise only southern teams in MS?

Uh... it's raining here in NY, too. Was going to wash and wax the wife's car... honestly, I was.

System

Ohio State? Is that an NCAA sanctioned team? Seriously, waaay down here, none of our teams is/are on TV. So, at 6:00 I'll be rolling the radio knob among Southern Mississippi/Memphis, Ole Miss/Louisiana and Mississippi State/Tulane. I did get to watch Auburn win and that one cost me $60.00. Ohio State....Woody Hays is there coach, right?

ray a

Hopefully, I get to see Penn State get beat tonight - that is always a pleasure.

Woody Hayes will be with Ohio St. in spirit forever. The sucker punch will never be forgotten.

Brad Forrister

The Grand Ole Opry tourguides hereabouts used to say that after Minnie Pearl's Fried Chicken started going downhill, it merged with the Fuller Brush Co. and the Schick razor folks to create Fuller Chicken Schick.

Those Fuller folks make it into a lot of these jokes, don't they?

Brad Forrister
Director of Publishing
M. Lee Smith Publishers