more funny kids
Shadowfax
910 Posts
I thought we had a funny kids stuff thread, but couldn't find it. Here are some more:
1. Man returns home from business trip in middle of thunder storm to find kids in bed with mom. Next day, dad explains to kids it was ok to sleep with mom when storm was bad, but not to do it when he was expected home. A few weeks later, mom and kids are picking up dad at the airport. The plane was late so there were hundreds of people in the terminal waiting. As dad comes through the gate, son runs through crowd and shouts " Hi dad, I've got some good news!" Joining in the excitement, dad waves and yells "Great son, what's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with mommy while you were away this time!"
2. A little girl, when asked her name said "I'm Mr Brown's daughter." Mom told her that was incorrect, and she should say "I'm Jane Brown." Next Sunday in church, the minister said to her "Aren't you Mr. Brown's daughter?"
"I thought I was, but mommy says I'm not!"
3. Sunday school teacher: "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Little girl: "Because people are sleeping."
4. At the beginning of the Easter service, all the children were called to come up to the alter with the minister. One little girl was wearing a particularly beautiful dress. As the children were sitting themselves down around the pastor, he leaned over and said "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on mic, "Yes, and mommy says it's a bitch to iron!"
5. Little girl goes with her father to the barber and stands right next to the barber chair eating a snack cake. The barber says, "Sweetie, you're going to get hair on your twinkie." "I know," she says, "and I'm gonna get boobs too!"
Sorry, but couldn't resist sharing!
1. Man returns home from business trip in middle of thunder storm to find kids in bed with mom. Next day, dad explains to kids it was ok to sleep with mom when storm was bad, but not to do it when he was expected home. A few weeks later, mom and kids are picking up dad at the airport. The plane was late so there were hundreds of people in the terminal waiting. As dad comes through the gate, son runs through crowd and shouts " Hi dad, I've got some good news!" Joining in the excitement, dad waves and yells "Great son, what's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with mommy while you were away this time!"
2. A little girl, when asked her name said "I'm Mr Brown's daughter." Mom told her that was incorrect, and she should say "I'm Jane Brown." Next Sunday in church, the minister said to her "Aren't you Mr. Brown's daughter?"
"I thought I was, but mommy says I'm not!"
3. Sunday school teacher: "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Little girl: "Because people are sleeping."
4. At the beginning of the Easter service, all the children were called to come up to the alter with the minister. One little girl was wearing a particularly beautiful dress. As the children were sitting themselves down around the pastor, he leaned over and said "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on mic, "Yes, and mommy says it's a bitch to iron!"
5. Little girl goes with her father to the barber and stands right next to the barber chair eating a snack cake. The barber says, "Sweetie, you're going to get hair on your twinkie." "I know," she says, "and I'm gonna get boobs too!"
Sorry, but couldn't resist sharing!
