The Guy's Side Of The Story.....
KathyCo
18 Posts
This forum has been getting quite serious lately, so I thought I would perk it up a bit. I got this e-mail from a (male) friend of mine who has put up with my e-mails for years....most of which are about women and how wonderful we are!! ;;) I thought you would get a kick out of his e-mail.
Enjoy!!
***************
The Guy's Side:
Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We
always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered
"1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Enjoy!!
***************
The Guy's Side:
Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We
always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered
"1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Comments
Just kidding. We had a female manager at another employer who passed this same list to all supervisors. There were a couple that took offense to it.
Unfortunately I am finding out all too quickly that as time goes by, it is more difficult to adjust my shape from round to.......
***Actually, this e-mail wasn't offensive to men...except for the "round" part, maybe!
Guys,guys,guys, you do use the toilet seat down in at least some of your trips to the budoir so I believe the onus of putting the seat in it's proper place should be on male's shoulders (hands?).
Also when we get up in the middle of the night to empty that bladder of all our saturday night beer we do not have the option of standing up and we are directionally superior enough to find our way to the toilet in the dark!
>toilet in the dark!
That "directionally superior" crack really hurts! I, at least, avail myself of that miracle of modern technology called a light. And I think most men are quite capable of aiming adequately if they can see the target.
You could say that my mind is "in the toilet" today
Hey beagle, I even saw you in the Hero sandwich forum. Are we doing anything but playing on the Forum today?
Hey beagle, do you like Spam too?x;-)
But thanks for asking. x;-)