Resumes

LarryC

I have been going over resumes for a Sales Manager position we're trying to fill and I am getting such a kick out of reading this drivel that I just had to post to see if anybody else feels the same way about Sales Managers or their resumes in particular. I mean, God Bless 'em, I'm sure they're nice people, but these resumes are an absolute hoot.

One has work history only back to 1989, but created a four page resume that reads like an infommercial. I translated one three-paragraph section describing a 2 year stint at some no name company as, "I will step on anybody and make such a pest of myself that the customer will give me token business to shut me up".

Another one had the seeds to actually put the following on his agonizing list of "accomplishments": "Created corporate identity and developed awareness building campaigns". I really don't want someone like that walking our hallways.

Anybody else have similar experience with the sales types?

Don D

Yes, the ones that kill me are those outrageous claims such as: In a 10 month time period, led the division, was seen as an achiever and promoted, and broke all previous sales records and in the process was able to advance the company to a level of profitability by increasing overall sales by 225%. And that ever growing group of sales managers who try to convince you they should work from home and never come to the office. "Every company I've been with is committed to the principle of home-based self management. That's where I do my best work. I can't grow your company effectively if I come in to the office on a regular basis".

Whatever

Not only are they creating sales records, but they are supervising a whole department.
My favorites are the ones that list being AOL literate.

ray a

Sales - a necessary evil.

psrcello

My spouse has been in sales forever, so this is almost a "don't get me started" topic. He asks me on a regular basis to review his resume - it's really hard to try to camouflage the fact that he's worked for six different companies in the last nine years, and still make all of the outrageous claims about his astonishing sales success! His periods of unemployment are always disguised as self-employment. He says that's just the way a sales career goes.

He's also a huge proponent of working at home - I have no idea what time he gets up in the morning, but generally, if I go home over the noon hour, he's still in his sweats and hasn't even taken a shower yet. However, I'll give him a little credit - although his work day doesn't seem to start very early, it never seems to end. He's usually still on the computer doing proposals when I go to bed at night.

Sales people are a really different breed. I actually avoided him for several years before we got together because I was afraid he was just going to try to sell me something! Well, I guess he finally did! x:D

Betty I_O

"Resume enhancements" are not limited to sales people! One of our VPs received a resume for a managerial position--someone recommended by a friend. On the surface it looked as though this candidate had all that we were seeking--educational background, degree, technical experience, etc., and a stable work history to boot. However, what bothered me was that he appeared to have changed the world in every one of the jobs listed. He "implemented, instituted, revamped, created, spearheaded, led, executed, achieved, promoted, advanced, increased", etc., etc., etc.

An HR colleague in another facility had a similar slot open in his organization, and I called to ask about his progress with the opening. We got to talking about candidates. Our guy had applied there, except the education and experience were different (different college, more advanced degree, employment dates more "extended" [yes, in that resume, he did do a little "consulting", too], more managerial functions). My friend's boss knew someone in one of the companies where this guy worked. Turns out, he was never a manager, but a lead tech, etc. You get the picture. Needless to say, he didn't get an interview here, either. The guy is probably peddling his resume--"alter-egoed" each time--to countless other employers. Do you think he'd do okay in sales . . .

ritaanz

This will come from a different direction. I had an opening for a sales manager. Job required supervising sales techs, travel, cold calls, trade shows and lots of customer hand holding. The resume included details such as: private pilot, owns his own plane, lives on a horse ranch, collects guns. He described himself as resolute, persuasive, high energy. He could build rapport, win preferential treatment, gain customer loyalty, you know, walk on water. Resume went on the NO pile.

A business associate, who knew I was looking, called me to recommend a guy who had worked for his company. His description of this gentleman fit my needs perfectly. He faxed me this guy's resume, and guess what, same guy as above. As a curtesy to my associate, I called and arranged an interview. The person that I interviewed and the resume I had read did not match. Apparently, he had a resume service "dress up" his resume. When he interviewed with my Pres and VPs, I did not give them the resume, just his application. We hired him. Good move. He has worked out well. After he was here about 3 months I showed his resume to our Pres. on the pretext of "any interest in this one?" I had blocked out the name. The Pres looked at me and tossed it in the circular file. No, he still does not believe me that it belonged to our Sales Manager. One never knows.

HCCADC

I worked for a non-profit that helped individuals obtain jobs and that is exactly what you do--dress up the resume. Sometimes I really wondered what the HR people thought when one of my clients went into an interview. I am sure they had the thought of 'this isn't the same person as the resume'! Now that I have been on the other side of the spectrum, there would be much DIFFERENT advice I would give to candidates than I used to. I will say that I keep that in mind when looking over resumes though, good experience to apply. Have a good day!

Don D

To the lady whose sales-husband is still in his sweats at noon and is on the computer 'making proposals' late at night, not that I suspect anything, but are you comfortable with the proposals he is making?

psrcello

Oh, yeah, I'm comfortable. He's been that way since we got together almost 10 years ago, and he's never given me any reason to suspect anything untoward!x0:)

ray a

Obvioiusly, your husband is the total opposite of Don. x:p