New Science (like New Math, incomprehensible)
HS
923 Posts
Had a laugh when a friend sent this e-mail to me:
Supposedly real answers to various science questions, as submitted to science and health teachers.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects.
The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.
For asphyxiation apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
Supposedly real answers to various science questions, as submitted to science and health teachers.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects.
The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.
Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.
For asphyxiation apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
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