Happy Men
Leslie
1,729 Posts
My brother-in-law mailed this to me...so guys tell us if it's true!
Why Men Are Just Happier People!
• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be president.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's "just too icky.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood, ALL the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five- day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You almost never have strap problems in public
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache!!
AND FINALLY....
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
Why Men Are Just Happier People!
• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be president.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's "just too icky.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood, ALL the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five- day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You almost never have strap problems in public
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache!!
AND FINALLY....
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
Comments
The world being a urinal reminded me, yesterday a car passed me on the highway to work and when I got to my exit, he was parked along the side just off the highway. This is a secluded spot with a lot of trees and not a heavily used exit. Well, he was standing next to his car assuming the position. I wonder what the lady in the car behind me thought - it was very obvious what he was doing.
Okay, now where did that term come from?!?!?
They were married in the back yard of their tiny rented house - it was 102 degrees, and the humidity brought the heat index up to about 115. The groom (a "goth") was dressed in black slacks, a white poet shirt, and a top hat. His fingernails were polished in a subdued white opaque (they're usually black), and one of his eyebrow studs was lavender (to match the wedding color scheme). His added bonus - a pair of custom made vampire-style canine teeth, which he proudly wore during the ceremony.
My ex-husband is a Lutheran minister, and performed the ceremony. The look on his face when Eric smiled at his bride - PRICELESS!
(I was on vacation last week, and it's all I can do to catch up on all the postings - this is a really prolific group!)
What a scene! Nobody kicked in a few bucks for a 12-pack??? Once upon a time, that's the kind of ceremony I would have expected from my two oldest sons, who were both "Goths" in high school and into college. Once I had to draw the line at my oldest borrowing my black eye liner. Anyhow, those times appear to have been left behind.
Yes, there was a pony keg of beer - he actually wanted to tap it the night before the wedding, but my daughter talked him out of it. No one got into the beer until after the bride and groom had toasted each other with Boone's Farm Sparkling Apple Wine (screw-off top, no less!) contributed by the groom's family.
Your daughter sounds like a smart woman. No good can come of a drunken binge the night before the wedding. I haven't drank Boone's Farm since 1973 - I didn't know they still made the stuff! Who are your daughter's in-laws? Jerry Garcia reborn and Grace Slick?!?!?!?