References.....should I?

Back when I first started my career in HR I worked for a woman that was well known in HR in my area. I learned a lot from her but I was working an entry level job. Two years later, I decided that it was time to move on, so I started looking. I went on several interviews. Finally, I received an offer. During my conversation with the new VP she asked if it was okay for her to contact my current boss as a reference. I said sure and gave her my bosses name and number. She immediately said Oh, I've known her for years, I need to think about this. Two days later she rescinded the offer. I have never forgotten that. A few years back I spoke with that old boss of mine and mentioned the situation with her. She told me she gave me a bad reference at the time because she didn't want to loose me.

Now I get to my point. I have an employee that has been with the company for just about two years. This ee knows that I am well connected and asked if I could give a reference. I do not want to loose this ee but know they have progressed as far as they can in their current position. Would you give the reference?

Comments

  • 10 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Employers tend to get sued in today's world if they give references that would intentionally cause someone not to get a job. That's why most people only give neutral references nowdays. I don't care how badly I would want to keep an employee, I would not give a bad reference in order to keep them.

    Dangerous territory. I'm surprised your former employer would tell you this.
  • I certainly would NOT give a bad one just to keep someone.. foul play!! I quit giving references after I recommended someone who chose that time of their life to do a turn around and become a less than stellar employee. I felt it put my well respected name in a bad light with a number of people who I greatly respected. Anyway, I might not give the reference, but I would certainly support any employee who felt it was time to move and "better" themselves. You may not want to lose her, but no one is irreplaceable. .
  • I would certainly not give a bad reference, however, we have an unwritten policy of not giving out references, although I know it still goes on. I like this ee and think they would do an excellent job any where they went but should I follow the unwritten policy?
  • The reason she shared this info with me is because we have become friends over the years and her many contacts have become contacts for myself.
  • Maybe she could use you as a personal reference rather than professional?
  • That could work, thank you. I never thought of that.
  • If a person has progressed as far as they can with you and they are obviously looking to move up to something bigger and better that you cannot provide, then why would you want to hold them back knowing their heart may not be in it and they may be continually looking for something else? Will they really be giving you a 100%?
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 06-26-03 AT 05:00PM (CST)[/font][p]Give the person a good reference! It is the right thing to do. You will feel good about it.

    Chari
  • I had an experience with a former boss...

    I worked for him for several years and felt that I had gone as far as I could in my position. I asked him if he felt there was anyplace for me to go within the organization and he assured me there was. In fact he even told me that I was being promoted and gave me a couple of possible new titles, which included increased responsibility as well as a pay raise - all that needed to be settled was what my new salary would be. He said that we would sit down and talk about it in a couple of days. Six months later still nothing had happened so I decided to look for another job. I received an offer for my current position (right after he left the company I was working for) and gave my notice. In speaking with the vice president for that company I asked her about my "promotion" and she informed me that there never was any conversation regarding my being promoted and knew nothing about it. I haven't seen my former boss since but feel that I was taken advantage of and lied to.

    Bottom line - if this employee is doing a good job, has the potential to advance but there aren't any opportunities at your company, he honest with her and provide the reference. How would you have felt if someone held you back from advancing?
  • Absolutely!! Part of our job is training and counseling employees to do their jobs. If one develops into an exceptional employee, take your bows and let the little bird fly from the nest. The rewards are boundless.
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