You live where?

You Live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in Maine when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You Live in the South when...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean,
Mary Beth, etc.

You live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

You live in Arizona when . . .
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when
you open your oven door.

Comments

  • 10 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Yup, I'm from the midwest. I had to wait for SIX, yes that is 6, cars this morning before I could pull out onto Main Street. Biggest traffic jam we've had here in ages. No tractors, but I did get behind a woman on a horse at the drive-though bank last week (yes, that's true).

    Annie

  • Leslie, you got the New Yorkers right but you left out their driving ability (or lack of). When they sell their car, they think they should get a bonus because the directional signals have NEVER been used.

    To add to your list on Arizona, cowboy boots and tatoos need to be included. All visitors have to hug a cactus for good luck.
  • I live in the south, but I don't have two names. However the part about buying bait in the same store is sad, but true! We even have traffic jams waiting for the tractor to get out of the way, just like the Midwest!

    Amanda


  • You guys in the Midwest - only waiting on six cars or horses - where in the Midwest do you live?!?!?! Definitely not KC!
  • Traffic jams here in the midwest only occur in a few major cities like KC, so since I moved here it has been great driving to work (even better since my office moved 1 mile from my home). However, I have had other experiences here that I never had while living in California. For instance, today I got a responsive email that said my question couldn't be dealt with until a co-worker returned. The co-worker was out for harvest and would be back in a week.

    Have a great one!
  • This is an e-mail I received yesterday from one of my friends... thought I would add it to Leslie's comments :) Have a good day everyone!
    April

    I would be curious to see if any of you received an email like this about your state!

    Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio


    > > > You may be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh)if:
    > > > You think all Pro football teams are supposed
    > > > to wear orange!
    > > > You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still
    > > > Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
    > > > You live less than 30 miles from some college
    > > > or university.
    > > > You know what a buckeye really is, and have a
    > > > recipe for candy ones.
    > > > "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward
    > > > the river" means south."
    > > > You know if other Ohioians are from southern
    > > > or Northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
    > > > You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy!
    > > > , Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter
    > > > is doubled in Cincinnati.

    > > >"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar
    > > > Point.
    > > >You measure distance in minutes.
    > > >Your school classes were canceled because of
    > > >cold.
    > > >Your school classes were canceled because of
    > > >heat!
    > > >You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in
    > > > the same day.
    > > > You know what should be knee-high by the
    > > > Fourth of July.
    > > > You end your sentences with an unnecessary
    > > > preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
    > > > You install security lights on your house and
    > > > garage and leave both unlocked.
    > > > You think of the major four food groups as
    > > > beef, pork, beer, andJell-O salad with marshmallows.
    > > >
    > > > You carry jumper cables in your car.
    > > > You know what 'pop' is.
    > > > You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit
    > > > over a snowsuit.
    > > > Driving is better in the winter because the
    > > > potholes are filled with snow.
    > > > You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a
    > > > flannel nightgown.
    > > > The local paper covers national and
    > > > international headlines on one page but requires 6
    > > > pages for sports.
    > > > You know which leaves make good toilet paper.



  • having lived there for 20 some years, I would say that about covers it! :)
  • I love Ohio. My son lives in Pataskala in Licking County.

    When in college years ago near Dayton, schools were closed one morning because of an inch of drifting snow. I died laughing.
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 06-26-03 AT 01:24PM (CST)[/font][p]I know what you mean. Friends of mine who have moved to Columbus from Cleveland made fun of us here in Central Ohio since we all panic and forget how to drive at the first sign of a flurry! I guess they are Pro Snow drivers in Cleveland. x:P


    I went to College with a gal from Pataskala!


  • I read the Midwest ones to my coworkers and they decided that they were "painfully true".

    We also take the honor of being the only time zone that has the TV schedule based on farmers rising with the sun and going to bed with the chickens.
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