Bad cover letters

jmpmo

I just have to post this cover letter I received today. Believe, I am not at all judging this person, but why share this in a resume cover letter? We figured out today we have reviewed about 100,000 resumes and now we have officially seen it all!! Even if there job history had been good, the typo's would preclude me from bringing this person in. This is it, typo's and all!! Happy Friday all!

To Whom It May concern:

The purpose of this letter is to disclose to you that I have a medical condition which is called Gender Dysphoria according to the American Psychiatric Association's (DSM-IV) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published in 1994. Also know as Gender Identity Disorder, the definition of this condition in simple words is discomfort with one's gender and gender role of said person. I am biologically male and I'm uncomfortable with being male, I'd rather be female and participate as a female. This does not mean that I am a crazy person, nor does it mean that I should be treated with disrespect. I am talking with a therapist about many issues that concern my treatment for my Gender Dysphoria and therapy will be ongoing for years to come. Meawhile, my biggest obstical to overcome is maintaining employment, and I have personally experienced policies set forth by companies that have caused me to be unemployed because I am presenting myself as a female and behaving as a female: (example, wearing; jewlry, earings, nail polish, perfume, and other items that are too lengthy to list individually, but also including clothing.) Technically speaking, I am a transsexual and I am planning to change my gender (surgically) to Female in the future. I have been in Hormone Replacement Therapy and will be for my remaining life which could be another 40 years with good luck on my side. At this time, I am suffering from depression because luck is not on my side. I am unemployed because people are afreaid that I will cause customers to go elsewhere to do business as a result of my unique medical condition. I'm also facing divorce in the near future as my spouce can't stay married to me if I'm the same gender as she is. Depression can become severe for me when I perceive I can no longer achieve any one of the many steps that are ahead on this journey of my life. I'm just trying to live as normal a life as possible and I'm not happy that my life makes society extrememly uncomfortable. I hope you understand, and I'll try to answer any questions that you may have regarding this matter concerning me. Any form of help from you would be greatly appreciated and considered good luck from bad luck.

Sincerely,

"Insert female name" (formerly "insert male name"

Don D

The clue is found in the last couple of sentences. People who have been psychiatrically diagnosed as such, according to my exhaustive research, do not consider 'it' BAD LUCK as the writer says. They consider it simply, a fact. Your leg should be tingling about right now. It's just been successfully pulled. Either that or he/she was carrying out a 'group assignment'.

Zanne

jmpmo:

I think you have seen it all. I decided I would add an email reply from a person "bickerchick" that keeps sending me resumes - but no cover letters. Does this qualify as a bad cover letter? I promise I haven't changed anything but her name. (To protect the innocent)

dear suzanne:

i currently interested in you teller positions. i would really like the chance to work for your bank. i have turned in my application in at the neosho blvd. location.
thanks so much, bickerchick

Don D

Are you sure it wasn't BIKERchick? I'm riding this weekend and need to meet her.

jmpmo

Interestingly enough, this came from some type of agency that tries to help people get jobs. The lady brought in a whole stack. The rest were "normal" so to speak. Whoever said "honesty is the best policy" did not work in HR!!

I love that bank email. Another of my favorites was for a mailroom position we have. Boy, last week must have been Interesting Resume Week. It looked just like this:

joe blow

i have 3 yrs mailroom experience

ritaanz

Did I understand correctly, the resume you posted came from some type of agency? Is this a position you are actively seeking to fill?

This resume gets my vote for total, absolute fiction. The only thing the writer left out was his broken leg being in a cast because he tripped and fell while wearing his 3" stilleto heels.

jmpmo

Yep. I am not sure what the agency was, it wasn't a recruitment agency. It is like an agency that places people who have a hard time getting work for whatever reason. All I know is that I have never seen anything like it. I called the lady who brought them over and they are all legit resumes. She told them that honesty is the best policy in explaining employment gaps and that by being honest she/he will get more of a fair shake. Like I said, if I had only seen the resume, I may have called the person, but with that letter and the typos, etc.......not a chance. I nicely told the lady that honesty is definitely NOT always the best policy.

Don D

On a similar note, the last time I advertised for an engineering manager, I got at least 40 resumes from one address in California who apparently catered to engineers trying to get sponsored employment in the U.S. All of them, according to paper, had excellent credentials; however, that was an expense we weren't looking into buying. It can run upwards of 6-8K per sponsored alien from point A to green card.

There are also half-way houses and job search assistance businesses and other very legitimate concerns who mass-mail resumes. I guess there's a place for everything under the sun.

Whatever

If they are not honest, can't they be terminated for lying on their application?

jmpmo

When I said honest, that was somewhat tongue in cheek. I meant about sharing all that personal information. Resumes, cover letters and interviews should be strictly job related. I don't need to know that your grannie Lulu had kidney stones and you had to take care of her so you couldn't work and then your dog got hurt so you had to take care of it and then, and then......I actually had a person call me once and tell me she was stuck in her garage and couldn't make the interview. Apparently her power was out and she had an automatic garage door opener and didn't realize you could open the garage w/out it.

Cindy Hanna

x:o

Leslie

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-28-03 AT 11:56AM (CST)[/font][p]And did you explain it to her so she could get her car out to come interview for your job? x;-)

jmpmo

Ah no. I just told her to feel free and call back to reschedule because I knew she never would and of course, she did not. That leads me to an even better topic, the best and worst lines you have had for people being late or not showing up. I think my all time favorite is the person who showed up late and I kindly asked if they had trouble finding us and he said, "I don't know what was wrong this morning. I just couldn't get my eyes to open and stay open."

LisaMN

My personal favorite was the lady who couldn't come to an interview on short notice b/c she had not done her laundry since returning from vacation and had no clean underwear......way more info than I needed.....

jmpmo

My point exactly about honesty not always being the best philosophy. x:D

Whatever

However, if you are silly enough to tell me about your Grannie Lulu, you better be honest.

sonny

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-28-03 AT 01:39PM (CST)[/font][p][font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-28-03 AT 01:30 PM (CST)[/font]

A little off the subject, but I just got a follow up email from a woman who had sent her resume and application several weeks ago. The email appeared to be canned. .said she had applied, restated her qualifications and requested an interview.. . . .she has one scheduled for tomorrow a.m.!! I responded, she said opps, her fault, old email snafu etc. I wasn't impressed. what do you all think? Maybe it is not a big deal, but I thought she should be more on top of the status of her job search.

Whatever

Last week, we got a resume from a former employee who was terminated for a rather serious reason (coming to work with a gun). The 1 1/2 yr. gap on the resume was the period he worked for the company. I would have assumed he would know who he had worked for and why he was terminated...but then, again.

sonny

Tops mine for sure!

jmpmo

Wow! What people won't do. I have had the new resume situation from someone who had an interview scheduled. We went ahead and conducted the interview out of professional courtesy, but just let the person leave and sent them a No Thank you letter. We also had a situation where we hired someone and had to terminate them due to a background check only to find out they had previousely worked here and been terminated. Needless to say, we check with Payroll now before we make a job offer. I guess he had a split personality and forgot he worked here before.

Zanne

Being a bank system, we do look at credit history. It's amazing the number of people who apply to work here that have either a mega history of late payments or have defaulted on one of our loans to them.

I'd be embarassed to apply at a company that I had been a deadbeat with.....

Zanne

jmpmo

People never cease to amaze me on a daily basis. My mom tells me I am to young to be cynical, but if she did this job for a day, I think that would change. Oh, I am meeting with the lady from the placement agency who sent that cover letter, for her client, that started this whole topic. I will be sure and let everyone know how it goes.