JACK PAINTS THE CHURCH

Don D

Thursday morning is a good time for a joke. So is any other morning. Make it a great day! Don D.

JACK PAINTS THE CHURCH

There was a tradesman, a painter called
> > Jack, who was very interested in making a penny
> > where he could, so he often would thin down paint to
> > make it go a wee bit further.
> >
> >
> > As it happened, he got away with this
> > for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church
> > decided to do a big restoration job on the painting
> > of one of their biggest buildings. Jack put in a
> > bid, and because his price was so low, he got the
> > job.
> >
> > And so he set to erecting the trestles
> > and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and,
> > yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with
> > turpentine.
> >
> > Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding,
> > painting away, the job nearly completed when
> > suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and
> > the
> >
> > sky opened, the rain poured down,
> > washing the thinned paint from all over the church
> > and knocking Jack clear off the scaffold to land on
> > the
> > lawn among the gravestones, surrounded
> > by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless
> > paint.
> >
> > Jack was no fool. He knew this was a
> > judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees
> > and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
> >
> >
> > And from the thunder, a mighty voice
> > spoke...
> >
> >
> >
> >
"REPAINT. REPAINT. AND THIN NO MORE!!!"

ritaanz

Don, Don, Don. Did you make that one up?

Don D

I cannot tell a lie, or at least won't right now. No, I didn't make it up. I can barely remember a joke, much less make one up. x:-)

Rockie

Thanks for the chuckle! We can use it.

Trinity

That was so bad Don! #-o My husband would love it though..just the right amount of corniness..thanks for the laugh

Leslie

Alright, here's another groaner:

Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language. He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff. A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled
"You are under arrest! You are under arrest!"
"What for?" the mad scientist asked.
And the policeman's answer was:



For making an obscene clone fall.

Don D

He was related to the Austrian guy name Mr. Opporknockity. Opporknockity was a trained and accomplished piano tuner. He went through the villages tuning all the old pianos and was known country-wide for his skill. On one occasion, however, he was in a rush and must have done a poor job on Mr. Fiddlefelder's piano. Fiddlefelder called him up and gave him a tongue lashing and demanded that Mr. Opporknockity return to his villa at once and do the job all over again, and with no additional pay. The piano tuner had strict policies and rules for himself and his business. His answer to Fiddlefelder's demands? "Sorry, Opporknockity only tunes once!"

sonny

Pretty corny but cute. Thought you might like to know I printed it out and gave it to our painter. . a great guy who doesn't smoke by the way..he is now strolling the halls saying Repaint repaint and thin no more. Made his day anyway.

Don D

Sonny: A lesson; never trust a painter who tells you he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke and won't thin the paint.