EMPLOYMENT AD TRANSLATIONS

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earings.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some every night and some every weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality assurance.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly, you'll be told that the position has been filled.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and get it done.



Anyone have any others they could add to this??

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