The Funniest Job App

franfields

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 10-09-02 AT 09:34AM (CST)[/font][p]Someone who thought they would make a perfect "Director of Promotions" for our poulty industry client because they currently work as a chicken inspector "checking the temperature of chickens, discarding chickens that are rotten and inedible. x:D

That was my most recent. What was yours?

Don D

First I have two questions about your post. How does one check a chicken's temperature? Second, isn't rotten and inedible a bit redundant? Are there rotten BUT edible ones? I guess that was three questions.

Paul in Cannon Beach

My funniest or strangest was an applicant who walked into my office and the first thing he said was "Do you discriminate against people who have been convicted of attempted murder?"

Of course I said "No, not necessarily" but I was thinking that attempted murder shows a lack of follow through.

Paul

franfields

It also demonstrates incompetence. #-o

Renie

When asked if ever been convicted of a felony the applicant replied yes. His reason? "Joyriding with buddies in a car that wasn't theirs". Maybe he thought I wouldn't notice that this was grand theft auto??? Joy riding makes it sound so much nicer /:) .

ritaanz

I was interviewing for a accounting spot. This gal had a 11:00 am appointment. Arrived 10 minutes late. After she completed her app, I called her into my office for the interview. After shaking hands she sat down and as I was asking her a question about her previous job she pulled a huge sandwich out of her bag and started to eat. Being unable to ignore what she was doing, I asked her (rather snappish) why she was eating. Her reply was that she had another interview 2 blocks away and wouldn't have time to eat lunch. x:o

Guess what. She did not get the job.

Don D

....and I thought this was a PERSONAL story!

ritaanz

Meaning????

Don D

I thought you were going to reveal that YOU were the 'girl' with the sandwich. Ha, like my friend who phoned the health department in college, claiming to have "A friend with this problem, ya see........".

NaeNae55

Don! You are sooooooooo bad! x:7

HRGirl

Don, did you belong to the Animal House fraternity? If so which one were you?

Don D

Not that I will admit in print. But, I was consulted. I made more money as a consultant to Animal House than Gillian has in all his years of 'expert witness' contrived testimony. x:-)

Gillian

Sometimes it's hard to keep a straight face and just answer the questions. Just the day before yesterday a defense attorney asked me while in a deposition to provide the reasons why I thought an investigation was not adequate. It was hard not to end by saying "but you are a labor attorney and you advise your clients to do what I have just said, right?"

Regarding funny job applicants - a bunch of years ago I received a thank you letter from a female applicant who wrote that she would do anything to get that job. No, I did not follow up nor did she get hired.

bamahr

I had an applicant walk into my office, sat in one chair and put his feet in the other. When I asked him to remove his feet from my chair, he laughed and said he forgot where he was. Shortest interview of my career.

WOCO Frank

You've not seen anything until you've had a female applicant walk in for her interview, carrying her newborn, and begin breastfeeding at your desk.

sonny

We had someone do that at the bargaining table, bad enough, but an Interview!!?

Paul in Cannon Beach

We require three references. I had a memorable applicant who asked if she could be HER OWN reference.

Actually, that told me quite a bit about her.

On the flip side, there is an application somewhere in a warehouse with my name on it and a big M for moron written over the front.

When I was 16 I applied for a job in a department store. The manager asked me when I got out of school. I thought he meant when I graduated. I said "umm I think its around mid-june". The manager paused and said, "What time do you get out of school?" Now I began to get nervous because I thought he wanted to know the exact time I graduated!

I don't remember exactly what I said next. He repeated the question in about three different ways but my mental block was firmly in place and there was no getting around it. I didn't get hired.

As I rode my bike home dejectedly it hit me like a ton of bricks: 3 p.m.

Paul

Margaret Morford

I have three:

1) The person who wrote in the blank about have you ever been known by any other name? "Yes, Silent Fury" Turns out that was her radio name. I try not to think about why she chose that as a DJ name!

2) The person who checked the felony box yes and their explanation was "At a very tender age, I made a big mistake."

3) The person who stated in writing on his application that his reason for leaving his last job was "His supervisor was an ass hole." Perhaps true, but shows a decided lack of judgement and discretion!

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Don D

On the other hand, this is clearly an honest and credible individual who will always give you forthright, uncontrived feedback and responses. A sort of no-nonsense guy, of the 5th order. Be sure to never ask a question to which you are not prepared to handle the full gamut of possible responses. Margaret, surely you have learned this now having graduated from the 'Island' series and the ape questions. Proceed with caution.

Rockie

Oh....PU-LEEZE tell me you are joking!

Jen D

I don't think he's joking. I think Don's upset because that was his application. x;-)

Don D

The 'joking' comment was in regard to Margaret's A-Hole remark. But, no, I wasn't the applicant.....I was the guy he was talking about! x:-)

Margaret Morford

Only if he said he left his last job because "His supervisor was a curmudgeon!"

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Don D

Maggie: Have you yet been sued for emotional distress?

catbertNC

"But what about the benefits??"

I recently had an applicant for an opening we had in our warehouse. In the "Position Desired" blank, the individual wrote "Whorehouse position". Unfortunately, we haven't started that division yet.

Zanne

I once had an applicant that wrote she was perfect for our clerical position because she enjoyed performing "Office ditties".

You know, probably everything would probably go better with a little song around the office.

HR Beginner

I'm sure you've all had this experience...

"Attention to detail" is listed as one of the applicant's strengths on a resume that is riddled with errors of all kinds...

Makes you wonder...

Karla

I had a purchasing clerk position open and a cover letter came in stating he could saved his last company "butt-loads" of money. Can anyone define a "butt load"? I don't even think I want to know.

JKK

I had a customer service vacancy and received an emailed application from email address "bitchfromhell"
I didn't even look at the resume I'm afraid.

Rexxies

When I worked in healthcare @ a large Chicago hospital, we had this homeless woman complete (sort of) an application, applying for the Hospital President's position (it wasn't open). The application asks you to list your supervisor and she put in my boss's name, the VP of HR. In description of last job, 'picking up garbage for the City of Chicago'. We kept that one around for awhile...

Don D

Yes Karla, there is indeed a Southern definition of Butt-Load. Glad you asked. A butt load is roughly equivalant to 17 pounds of strawberry jello poured into a 15 pound Martha White flour sack.