EEs unwilling to be quoted

Caroliso

I know this has been discussed before, and I know what you are going to tell me to do, but I keep thinking there's got to be a surefire way to act on complaints without undermining EE confidence in HR's ability to keep things private.

Case in Point: I have heard "unofficially" (they say "please don't tell my supervisor! she will feel like I am sabotaging her and I know it will make us both uncomfortable!") from two people now that a supervisor is inappropriate in two ways: (1) she criticizes her staff to one another privately, and (2) she trolls for personal information about other employees when their names come up in work discussion ("tell me the scoop on her! is she married? does she have a boyfriend?" etc.)

This behavior is making these employees uncomfortable, and I'd like to address it with the supervisor. (I can't call it harassment, I don't think, in which case I know EE confidentiality is secondary.) In both cases it is undermining the respect her staff have for her, which is bad for us all. I've asked the individuals to find a way to tell her directly that these conversations are unwelcome and one has, but she continues with the other who does not feel like she can speak up. I shudder to think who else she speaks like this to.

How can I get around the assumption of confidentiality on the part of the employees who approach me? I know that this is a worry in general, people won't come forward on some things because they don't want to be quoted, and they surely won't if word gets around that I say "I'm sorry but I have to act on this so i am going to your supervisor anyway" but how can I address personnel issues of this nature if they don't?

I know, I know, if my company gets sued my keeping confidence will be cold comfort, but I need some strategies here. Anyone?

Parabeaglex2

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-13-05 AT 05:56PM (CST)[/font][br][br]As much as HR is sometimes (mistakenly) viewed as a confessional, I never promise confidentiality and I'm very upfront about it. I will tell someone who has a gripe that I can only keep them out of it and keep their confidence insofar as I don't have to act on the information they give me. I also ask them what they want me to do with the information. Usually their response is "nothing, I just wanted to let you know what was happening." I never disregard the information, just file it away for future reference.

edit: I've also noticed that the more you talk with employees and get to know them, the less important the confidentiality issue becomes, because they have learned to trust you, provided you deal squarely with them.

Don D

(1) she criticizes her staff to one another privately, and (2) she trolls for personal information about other employees when their names come up in work discussion ("tell me the scoop on her! is she married? does she have a boyfriend?" etc.)

I don't see either of those as something Human Resources should involve themselves in. This supervisor's manager should handle things like this, things that are not of a labor-law nature nor are likely to bring liability to the company. If the department head wants your involvement, fine. Otherwise, direct these yaaah-yaaah complaints to the complainant's top manager.

JM in ATL

I agree with Don. However, top managers usually don't do anything about it either. Unless he/she starts getting the complaints directly and in volume.

I would suggest that you bring this to the attention of her boss along with an action plan and how the manager should address it. Kind of like - Give him/her an excuse to NOT ignore the problem b/c the solution is provided to them.

And I am only suggesting this under the assumption that this manager needs his/her hand held (like many do).

If employees are complaining, then this can lead to an unprodcutive environment where gossip takes precidnece over work. It has already lead to unhappy staff and will only escalate from here.

Something needs to be done, but get her manager involved.

Whatever

I partially disagree with Don. This is not an issue that HR should be involved in. However, I believe that HR should be department that ees are comfortable in coming to.

Dasher

It may go to the culture of the organization, because where I work, HR would be the place to go with this kind of information, and would be the office to facilitate a solution (whether working directly with the supervisor involved, or giving strategies to the supervisor's manager).

People have a way of being sure HR hears things "unofficially" or receives unsigned memos, and I generally do not act in those kinds of circumstances.

HRinFL

I agree with Don and JM. Take it to her supervisor and provide the supervisor with options on how to address the situation. Develop a timeframe for addressing the issue and ask the manager to follow up with you so that you know the situation has been addressed.

dchr9203

Like it or not, HR does get involved, especially in smaller companies, and especially if the HR person has a reputation for good moderation and coaching skills. As for me, when an employee tells me to "keep it a secret" I then tell them they've tied my hands and there is no need for further discussion. I always question when someone makes a statement, but then is unwilling to back it up. If what they are telling you is true, your supervisor is immature and needs coaching. I had a similar situation once with a young, new manager, who demonstrated this type of behavior. I developed a relationship with her, talked honestly about the behaviors and perceptions, as well as the negative consequences (i.e. loss of respect of her subordinates). She wanted to do a good job, just didn't have the training. In your situation, depending on the org structure and her management, that's the route I would recommend. It will hurt her feelings to know that her employees are modeling her behaviors by gossiping to you about her (as she does about them to each other), but it might also be a good learning experience as to how she should conduct herself professionally.

marc

The EEs do not have to engage in the gossip and they can also stop participating in the trash talking about the other EEs. Let the supervisor know that this is making him/her uncomfortable.

I would not address anything with the supervisor unless retaliation began to happen, then it would be his/her turn for a "talk."

Gillian3

Whether HR gets involved or refers to the supervisor is largely dependent on the role that HR has played. What is described is poor supervisor skills, though. Maybe you could plan some supervisor skills sessions and talk about privacy in that neutral setting, along with other stuff.

Caroliso

Thanks, you all have given me some food for thought.
It's interesting to hear that some feel as though the specific issue presented is not necessarily requiring HR direct action. If the principals were different I would take the approach of involving the supervisor's supervisor without a doubt -- I hadn't thought of that as a given but I do now. Unfortunately, the supervisor's boss is the President, so no one is likely to run into his office with these complaints, and were they to do so he would likely kick it to my office anyway. Plus, our culture is indeed one in which HR is expected to help resolve these situtions directly through facilitation and coaching. We are fairly small -- 150 emps.
I like the comment that if HR builds trust confidentiality becomes less important, and am finding that to be true with one of the complainers, who really had no idea that HR had the obligation to deal with these sorts of issues (do I need to do some internal education here?). But in so many cases the only way to present the person with the issue is to say "I heard "X", and there isn't much to be done about hiding how I heard about "X". And, I also believe that in many instances people have a right to know what specifically the "X" is and who is saying it.
I also liked the suggestion that the person would welcome some direct coaching. I do believe that's true, actually, or at least what she would have me believe, which would be enough for me. However, what I've been hearing does lead me to believe this person doesn't have much of a sense of what comments to sensor, so despite my best efforts there might be some unfortunate remarks on her part to staff about feeling betrayed by them, wanting to keep future things within the group, etc., etc.
I will keep checking this thread in case others have more to say, and thanks to those who've commented so far.

Gillian3

There are a couple of threads going which illustrate differing philosophies of HR. One is that HR doesn't get involved in this stuff and the other that it does. Both are right - it depends on how the company views the role of HR in facilitating the resolution of management/employee issues. If there is a desire to change from a more involved role to the expectation that these problems are the job of individual managers, there needs to be some major education effort to inform managers that this is part of their job. Someone has to get involved in the issues, whether managers or HR, otherwise no one will and we know what that will bring.

Don D

It just seemed to me that the two specific examples given represented fairly petty stuff. It's also very easy (and enabling) for HR to cause the unintended consequence of establishing a little "all-ears" room down the hall where people can run tattle and take the most meaningless, petty crap imaginable. Then I can guarantee you that those same employees are up and down the halls saying, "Well, I told HR about it, now let's see."

There certainly has to be a balance in how to handle all of the things mentioned above. It takes a learned degree of judgement to separate the worthwhile or important from the meaningless time wasters. Drawing this 'judgement line' will not destroy the company's culture that HR is the trusted place to go with problems and complaints.

Gillian3

True, but it is only the HR person in the company that can determine whether it is "petty" or not, and a good one will know what to do when that determination is made.

lynn2008

My organization is about the same size as yours, and has had similar problems. I would suggest have the employee put the full complaint in writing so you can deal with, but if they refuse, put this refusal back to them in writing of why you are unable to properly investigate and resolve their problem.

If the employee quits and takes legal action for constructive discharge, you have some level of defense.

A second option is to develop manager training on dealing with people and address this specific behavior in the training, and the negative affects, and what options a manager has should an employee come to them with an issue about the employee's supervisor. If the training (do it under Harassment Training or something) can be rolled out to all employees, sometimes the knowledge that employees are empowered and encourages to report inappropriate behavior, it will temper your transgressors a little bit.

Sometimes it works, occasionally it fails.

Good luck!

hrbanker

This manager's twin works for us. It was not an HR problem until employees started leaving. We did a termination analysis and her department had 100% turnover in 8 months. By then, we had exit interview information that pointed out a consistantly unprofessional behavior.

I believe it is HR's job to help employees and managers succeed in their jobs. After discussion with management, we talked to her about the issues. Unfortunatly, leopards don't change their spots easily. The behaviors are still there, just not so visible.

Maybe your manager is new enough to management that she will be able to grow into the manager you want her to be. Good luck.

AJ SPHR

I believe the only way to get a manager to change is for that manager's manager to make it important. If the manager's boss doesn't really care, then the manager won't care (I'm referring only to legal but annoying behavior).

If I have an employee come to me to complain about his/her supervisor and they tell me to keep it confidential, I tell them that I can't do anything about it if they want it kept confidential. I also tell them - because it is one of the organization's values - that employees must work through a conflict with another employee directly with that other employee, rather than complaining to others. Also, I remind them that we attack problems and issues, not people. I will provide some coaching or role playing assistance, but ultimately will put it back on the employee to handle (or at least try to handle) the first time around.

I get concerned sometimes that HR encourages or enables constant complaining by always being open for employees to complain. I'm not saying that it's what's happening in this situation; just a comment that I strive to get the resolution process back where it belongs - in the hands of the manager and employee.

mbeam

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 04-18-05 AT 07:30PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Agree with several other posters on the best way to handle this will depend upon your company's culture and what your boss views your role in handling these type of issues.

Did the two that raised these concerns tell you what they wanted you to do about it? Sounds like in one of the cases that the direct approach worked since she stopped talking about personal items with that individual.

We're a smaller company and as we've grown have kicked more of these back to the managers to handle. It is a good learning tool for them as well. Have a recent case where it worked as well as you can hope. It helped grow the confidence level of the team managers when the manager's boss helped solve the issue raised. The other win/win is that instead of coming down to HR the next time there's a problem, they'll hopefully go to their own management team first.

When we were smaller would have handled more directly through HR. Best approach would be to level with the individual and tell them what you've heard on more than one occasion (not name names as it isn't relevant to the situation at hand) and if you were in her shoes you would want to know that there were concerns being raised.

Rest is up to her - let's hope she asks for your advice about what she can do. Might want to ask her why she is asking these type of questions - could be an innocent reason such as she likes to personalize presents for her team (bday, Christmas, etc.)......