FAIR OR NOT FAIR

T

My general office manager has just graduated and received an associates degree in business mgmt. My company paid for her tuition and let her off work on certain days of the week to go to day classes. She signed a simple contract(i believe that is an oxymoron)stating that she will stay employed here for 1 year after receiving her degree or she will have to reimburse us for the tuition.

Anyway, I have a few of her employees wanting to do a little congratulations party here at work. Great idea!, but we have had several other employees go to school, get a diploma, degree or whatever and the company has never funded or suggested throwing a party.

I believe this will cause a stink among some of the other ee's who paid their own way to college and worked full time while doing it. What do you think?

Thanks.
T

Whatever

I'm surprised it hasn't caused a stink already.
Does your company have a tuition reimbursement program? Why not just let those ees who want to take her a restaurant some evening at their own expense.

National Guard

It appears that your office is definately disfunctional and has some weird relationship triangles going on, and now they want to celebrate it? I say not on office time!

ScorpioHR

National, I think that is perfectly stated! Dysfunctional, right on!
scorpio

System

I didn't read it the same way. It appears that several of the people who work directly for her want to congratulate her. They've obviously been very supportive. I don't infer from your post that it's the company who wants to have the party. It happens that groups of people who work together may do things like celebrate graduations, other achievements, possibly birthdays and babies and they are not at all company-sponsored events. But if you think others will feel put out by it, then Whatever's suggestion is a good one. Encourage that group to do an evening event. My hunch is that they'll still say 'no one ever did that for me.'

stilldazed

Having been there and done that, I would say that the stink is probably already there. The party will bring it to a public forum. I think it would be wise to discourage the event, or else be ready to manage some PDC (public display of conflict).

I was caught up in a similar situation several years ago. I was one who did not get all the assistance while others around me did. Not that gender had anything to do with it, but I was a woman in a predominately male industry and the only female employee seeking educational assistance. I also happened to be a single parent. Granted I successfully attained my degree (and went to graduate level to try to level the playing field in the job market some). I pushed the point about the assistance as much as my boss was willing to go, which wasn't a whole lot (he eventually said he was afraid that contesting a corporate decision on my behalf would tarnish his professional career), and the corporate answer was that different assistance levels were available for different job categories. Unfortunately, my job category didn't get the same level of assistance that was going on with other folks. It was basically an administrative assistant. As it turns out, however, I was the only one in the organization in my job category seeking to advance my education. Others filling similar positions didn't have career aspirations to do something more, and everyone who was going to school filled positions predominately populated by men. I was the only one going to school and not getting the generous assistance. I was also the lowest paid. Because of my work commitment, I had to find a weekend program. Few were available at that time, so my choices were limited to private schools--very expensive--but class schedules didn't cause me to miss work. I had a 100+ mile commute to classes and took my child with me sometimes for lack of consistent and affordable childcare. To keep from getting expelled from class for having a child present, I learned quickly that top students sometimes get favorable treatment. My professors seemed to look the other way when my child came in as long as my test results set the grading curve. However, I also assumed huge student loan debt for years (paid off 2 years early in 2004), took a second job to help with for the loan, and eventually moved on to another employer. It was very painful for me at the time and took years to overcome. It was just a situation that seemed to permeate every part of my lifestyle, and it forced me to decide very quickly just much I wanted a degree. Now that more than 10 years have passed and I'm working on the management side of the scenario, part of me can see a tiny bit of the argument that was offered to me, but part of me still cringes when I think about it. I still think it's a bad PR move and can squash morale for potential star performers (future organizational leaders). When I reduce everything down to facts, however, I had a net loss in discretionary income because of the expenses I had to pay, in a household that had to practice creative budgeting to make it from one month to the other. My guess is that your coworkers feel pretty much the same way, even if they haven't said so.

System

Stilldazed, without going into any personal struggles of my own, I can tell you I relate to yours and what you are saying. You developed a great deal of character through those times and now have the refined asset of seeing management from both sides. It makes you professional and empathetic to other workers. The hardest lesson I ever learned was that I had to accept the fact that there are misjustices in the world - or so it seems. Misjustice is temporary.

stilldazed

You are absolutely right about the character part and the empathy part, and the value of both also permeate every part of a lifestyle and can last for generations.

Don D

I haven't inferred this, so don't assume I have; but, these sorts of trials and tribulations can also imbed a bitterness that can last the rest of a career. I'm not saying you're an example of that. I am. Learning the art of overcoming that is more important than the other lessons.





**When we do for others what they should do for themselves, we disempower them.**

T

I'm so glad most you agree with me. Now, if I can convince my CEO of that.

Thanks.
-T

System

It's 3 to 3.

stilldazed

Don't overwork yourself trying to convince your CEO. If the decision really belongs to the CEO and is to go ahead with event, be ready for the outfall. If everyone is adult, you'll see nothing more than a hostile undercurrent, and the real action will be reserved for water fountain discussion. Unprofessionals and those too young in maturity to elevate their behavior to a level above fairness will probably not show up.

Don D, I hope you've overcome. Life is precious, and it is so much more pleasant when you ride in the victor's seat than when you are being slung around at the tail end of the whip. Think of your children, your children's children, the rest of your circle of family and friends. Harbored bitterness has a way of eating away the small pleasures.

Crout

I don't see how the little party is an issue of fairness. If she was given certain benefits that others were not while pursuing her degree THAT would be unfair, but even so, how is she accountable for the decisions of the people above her? It seems she has obviously managed to foster good relationships with the people around her and I would think that is a positive thing.

Ethel

Sometimes things we don't like are just a part of life. The saying about "everyone is equal, some are just more equal than others" is based on reality. However, it probably would not be good to flaunt that, so probably no party would be best.