I would guess that over 90% of us share your frustrations. When things get really bad in my office, I think back to last year. One of our employees came into my office and thanked me for saving his life. At his annual physical he had been diagnosed with cancer. He had just finished about 6 months of radiation & chemo and was given a very positive prognosis. He stood in my office and told me the only reason they caught the cancer in its early stages was that I constantly get on the employees about getting an annual physical. I often use the phrase that a $20 co-pay could save your life. I thank him for his thoughts and told him to thank our President, since he is the one that pays for the insurance. After he left my office I also took a minute to let his words have their full impact on me.
In all honesty, I do feel that I played a positive and critical role in this employee's life and probably many others. I also allowed myself the luxury of believing I very probably did save his life. At least once a year I have this employee relate the importance of an annual physical at an employee meeting. His words have much more impact than mine ever could.
I would venture a guess that all of us in HR have had such an impact on many people thoughout our careers. Everyone of us has probably played a role in saving someones life or at least in playing a positive role in improving the lives of many employees and/or their family members. Very often we don't realize how much good we do.
PS: The employee I mentioned above has been cancer free for almost two years.
PPS: Our owner came into my office after the employee also thank him for saving his life. The owner thanked me for being so involved in the employee's lives and mentioned that in the 40 years since he founded the company this was one of his best moments.
Linda, aside from the usual stress relievers (I life weights, play golf, ride a bike occasionally, and drink my butt off by my brother-in-law's pool on the weekends) I think it's healthy to look around for a new job every now and then. I find that the process involved in searching, applying and interviewing for a new job can be highly therapeutic. The beauty is that the worst thing that could happen is that you find a new environment that pays you more money. Most times I realize that I'm very lucky to work where I do, and so I gain a better perspective on things.
I love the chocolate idea... since I revert to chocolate for every excuse or no excuse (and it is catching up with me.) I hate to bring this up Linda, but I wonder if you are in the right place for you. I speak from experience. Every day isn't a picnic but I do love my job and work for wonderful people. Which is a HUGE difference between my old and my present job. My old job, owners and managers wanted to solver everything (good) but wanted me to provide the right answer (which was their answer) BAD. When I advised them on things they didn't want to hear, it was my fault and I was "beaten up because of it". No support from higher up which equates with no respect "lower down". Now, Managers may not like what I tell them (and they gripe) but they know it is really the right thing to do and they support me. (One manager is having a problem with employee who is a production employee in a plant that he had on salary. I had him change this in August. He has griped to everyone, but knows it is the right thing to do and everyone just chuckles abou this.) Also employees (I think) are so glad to have someone to go to (even if I tell them things they don't want to hear) they tend to appreciate me. For example, I visited one of our plants and the employees gave me a "thank you" greeting card. Recently an employee's spouse died and I helped her with medical bills. She wrote me the sweetest note (to my home.) These are just hard working folks who sometimes don't know where to turn. Just be there to support them and let them know you care. Also sounds as if you personally "anguish over" having to give bad news. It happens. Maybe get managers better trained so that the "bad news" is automatic and employees don't question it. (ie. having someone written up for attendance.... Manager should be the one doing this and shouldn't even be questioned by employee. They should know policy and when they cross the line".) I know this sounds like the perfect world, and believe me, mine isn't. However, feeling appreciated now and then goes a long way to making you feel worthwhile. Take a breath, re-evalute your situation, and try to "mold" some of your folks so that they will be better managers and employees. Some will resist, but you will be surprised about those that will appreciate the help. E Wart
Linda, I suggest you put the following on your desk facing the visitor chair:
STRESS REDUCTION
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.
Look! It's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place!
What a pleasant surprise! You let them up......just for a quick breath.....then plop!.....back under they go.....
You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.
There now......feeling better???
I have this on my desk at work. It helps me to relax and laugh when I'm stressed. But hey, if you put it FACING your visitor chair.....maybe your VISITOR will read it and reconsider their complaining!
A bottle of wine, a box of chocolate (preferably Godiva) and a bag of potato chips usually does the trick. And on unusually bad days, use a crazy straw!!!
Comments
I would guess that over 90% of us share your frustrations. When things get really bad in my office, I think back to last year. One of our employees came into my office and thanked me for saving his life. At his annual physical he had been diagnosed with cancer. He had just finished about 6 months of radiation & chemo and was given a very positive prognosis. He stood in my office and told me the only reason they caught the cancer in its early stages was that I constantly get on the employees about getting an annual physical. I often use the phrase that a $20 co-pay could save your life. I thank him for his thoughts and told him to thank our President, since he is the one that pays for the insurance. After he left my office I also took a minute to let his words have their full impact on me.
In all honesty, I do feel that I played a positive and critical role in this employee's life and probably many others. I also allowed myself the luxury of believing I very probably did save his life. At least once a year I have this employee relate the importance of an annual physical at an employee meeting. His words have much more impact than mine ever could.
I would venture a guess that all of us in HR have had such an impact on many people thoughout our careers. Everyone of us has probably played a role in saving someones life or at least in playing a positive role in improving the lives of many employees and/or their family members. Very often we don't realize how much good we do.
PS: The employee I mentioned above has been cancer free for almost two years.
PPS: Our owner came into my office after the employee also thank him for saving his life. The owner thanked me for being so involved in the employee's lives and mentioned that in the 40 years since he founded the company this was one of his best moments.
I hate to bring this up Linda, but I wonder if you are in the right place for you. I speak from experience. Every day isn't a picnic but I do love my job and work for wonderful people. Which is a HUGE difference between my old and my present job. My old job, owners and managers wanted to solver everything (good) but wanted me to provide the right answer (which was their answer) BAD. When I advised them on things they didn't want to hear, it was my fault and I was "beaten up because of it". No support from higher up which equates with no respect "lower down".
Now, Managers may not like what I tell them (and they gripe) but they know it is really the right thing to do and they support me. (One manager is having a problem with employee who is a production employee in a plant that he had on salary. I had him change this in August. He has griped to everyone, but knows it is the right thing to do and everyone just chuckles abou this.)
Also employees (I think) are so glad to have someone to go to (even if I tell them things they don't want to hear) they tend to appreciate me. For example, I visited one of our plants and the employees gave me a "thank you" greeting card. Recently an employee's spouse died and I helped her with medical bills. She wrote me the sweetest note (to my home.)
These are just hard working folks who sometimes don't know where to turn. Just be there to support them and let them know you care.
Also sounds as if you personally "anguish over" having to give bad news. It happens. Maybe get managers better trained so that the "bad news" is automatic and employees don't question it. (ie. having someone written up for attendance.... Manager should be the one doing this and shouldn't even be questioned by employee. They should know policy and when they cross the line".)
I know this sounds like the perfect world, and believe me, mine isn't. However, feeling appreciated now and then goes a long way to making you feel worthwhile.
Take a breath, re-evalute your situation, and try to "mold" some of your folks so that they will be better managers and employees. Some will resist, but you will be surprised about those that will appreciate the help.
E Wart
I suggest you put the following on your desk facing the visitor chair:
STRESS REDUCTION
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.
Look! It's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place!
What a pleasant surprise! You let them up......just for a quick breath.....then plop!.....back under they go.....
You allow yourself as many deep breaths as you want.
There now......feeling better???
I have this on my desk at work. It helps me to relax and laugh when I'm stressed. But hey, if you put it FACING your visitor chair.....maybe your VISITOR will read it and reconsider their complaining!