A thorny issue

FHR

I am currently in the process of interviewing with my old company's major competitor. Even though the company I am interviewing with is HUGE and my old company is a tiny not for profit there has been some bad feeling between the locations (2) that are close to my old CO. (price gouging,price spying etc.)And those are where I want to work
This is my problem: My SO is still working for my old company. I don't intend to bring this up, of course, but what if it came up in casual conversations? The industry is pretty tight, it might come up no matter what. I know that my old company was tremendously paranoid about their competition.
I need to come up with perfect thing to say in order to deflect any uneasiness this company might have about my situation.
So, any suggestions?

Don D

Are you concerned about conversations being had between you and your friend-boy or are you concerned that the company you are interviewing with will have it as an issue for you two to be employed competitively? With all you've related to us about your prior circumstances, I would think you would want to distance yourself entirely from any association with them or the industry.

FHR

No, I love the industry!!! As far as a matter of commuting, those locations are ideal. (I don't drive). I doubt that this company will behave at all like my old company. I just want them put at ease that my SO and I are not going to share info with eachother that might be detrimental to either company.

LarryC

Many years ago, I was with a company that experienced the same situation. During a staff meeting, the subject came up. The owner, sitting at the head of the table and referring to our employee and her SO, blurted out indignently," Yeah, I'll bet he pumps her every chance he gets!!" The room erupted in laughter as we all "got it" at the same time. The meeting ended, because we couldn't stop laughing.

If the situation is ever brought up with you, you can say, " He may have his way with me, but NOT with my information." Keep your tone light and confident.

marc

I like Larry's approach. Let them know it is not an issue in this manner. If they press it, let them know your personal ethics would never allow you to even consider such a thing.

Whirlwind

>If the situation is ever brought up with you,
>you can say, " He may have his way with me, but
>NOT with my information." Keep your tone light
>and confident.

I agree that a light and confident tone is in order but I don't recommend referring -- in the workplace -- to someone "having his way with you." If an interviewee or a newcomer at work said this to me, even in casual conversation, I think a little warning bell would go off in my head. I believe a simply worded assurance of your professional/personal ethics, as Marc suggested, is more appropriate.

Good luck. If this the job you want, I hope you get it!

Always Learning in OR

FHR,

I once worked with my significant other as his supervisor. The general manager expressed concerns about my ability to handle difficult employment situations if necessary. As I calmly and candidly answered his questions he finally asked the question he felt would "test" my commitment to the company, "But what would you do if you had to fire him?" My firm and confident answer was, "Well Tim, if I needed to fire him, I would fire him." The subject never came up again, and we both continued to work successfully for the company for a number of years.

While I am a huge fan of a witty answer that adds levity to a touchy discussion, when dealing with the sensitive issues surrounding a legitimate competitive concern, I think that handling questions in a calm, candid, and unflinching way will carry you much further than humor.

As your potential employer, I would want to feel certain that you understand the gravity of the responsibility for professional boundaries you would be taking home with you each evening. To me, this is an issue of establishing high-level trust before you walk in the door. This is a big thing to ask of a potential employer, and if you handle inquiries with dignity and respect for their concerns from the get go I expect you will be likely to succeed in securing the position.

Best of luck!

Whatever

First of all, you have to honest up front. If the
co. ever finds out about your SO from anyone but you, the trust they have for you will go down the tubes. Second, simply tell them where your SO works. And, also, let them know that you are a professional who would never discuss business with your SO. You might, also, want to remind them that the nature of HR requires that you be able to keep a confidence.

Don D

Fine answers, all. But, let's cut through the bull here. Just how many of you/us would actually follow through on those comments and absolutely never discuss 'business' at home? Hmmm? Before you answer, consider this. What if your employer told you in confidence that your company is about to buy out the competition where your spouse or SO works and that all of the employees would be laid off effective with the buyout, their benefits (which you are on also) will be cancelled with no notice and they are not paying out vacation? And the wrinkle....if the workers over there get wind of any of this, the purchase will not go through.

marc

Oh no, the "real world" gambit.

This is actually a great comment to make. My wife and I frequently hammer out strategy and exchange knowledge and information about how to handle various business issues. Names are rarely utilized, but this is a small community and we both usually know who the people are behind the issues we are discussing.

That said, there are plenty of issues that we do not discuss because of the sensitivity of the information or the confidential nature of the topic.

FHR

Yikes Don!x:o
That would be a very bad position for me to be in. Maybe my SO and I should hammer out a plan in advance.
On second thought I think our zoning laws wouldn't allow that to happen. The CO I want to work in has just enough locations per town that are allowed.
Of course, this is all if I get the job!xpray

Whatever

Even worse, what if you were told that the new company was relocating to Mississippi. However, if the competition found out, you would have to stay in Mass.

LarryC

Me? I'd be singing like a little baby bird. Afterall, the a** you cover, just may be your own.