'Twas an Office Party

Here is a fun poem summing up the problem of serving alcohol at office Christmas parties. It was written for the December issue of Georgia Employment Letter by Jen DiLorenzo, an obviously very creative associate in the Atlanta office of Ford & Harrison LLP. Enjoy! tk
Peace, love, and eggnog?
The truth about serving alcohol
at holiday office parties
by Jen DiLorenzo

’Twas the night of the office party, and all through the houses,
Employees were getting ready, and so were their spouses.
Ties were knotted and straightened with care.
Women put on dresses and combed through their hair.

The children were ready, all showered and fed
And continued to play Xbox until it was time for bed.
A kiss on the cheek, “Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
Then mom and dad departed and turned off the light.

When out of the driveway, they flew like a flash.
Excitedly, they drove to the holiday bash.
They arrived just in time and walked through the door
To find decorations hung from ceiling to floor.

Then, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a bar stocked with liquor, wine, and chilled beer.
They took less than a second to stop and think,
And like moths to a flame, headed straight for a drink.

More rapid than eagles, the drinks they came,
And they gulped, and they chugged, and they called them by name!
“Now Smirnoff! Now Cuervo! Now Jim Beam and Jack!
Now Baileys! Now Captain! Now Johnnie Walker Black!”

As they continued to drink, the night had turned late.
They’d already broken two glasses and a plate.
His vision was blurry and her head, how it spun.
The guests were now leaving; the party was done.

They thanked the host for a fabulous night.
He got in his car and drove out of sight.
It was but a moment, what seemed like a flash,
He veered from his lane and with another car crashed!

The policemen arrived; the sirens did wail.
He blew over the limit, and they took him to jail.
The other driver was injured and called up his lawyer.
He sued both the driver and the host -- his employer.

That night as he slept, he tossed in his bed
As the night constantly replayed in his head.
Sometimes things are not always as they seem.
He awoke and realized that it was but a dream.

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