Clean Limericks Please
Don D
9,834 Posts
There was a young man from New York,
Who made fun of Don and of Pork.
But the Lord paid him back and dealt him a blow
'She' set him right down in two feet of snow.
Through his trombone his life is now fabled
If you doubt it, that question is tabled.
Tho' he toots and he tats, he bleats and he blats,
his mailbox has now been disabled!
Who made fun of Don and of Pork.
But the Lord paid him back and dealt him a blow
'She' set him right down in two feet of snow.
Through his trombone his life is now fabled
If you doubt it, that question is tabled.
Tho' he toots and he tats, he bleats and he blats,
his mailbox has now been disabled!
Comments
will see through the name mystery.
A Ray that is muzzled
leaves us all quite puzzled.
The occasional jibe and pun
are part of the fun.
So we enjoy him just the same
otherwise the forum is too tame!
His reckoning day is at hand.
He must show his face
Or considered a disgrace
Perhaps he ran off with the band.
Whose life was one big fairyland.
She said Ray was hiding,
But, in truth he was biding.
To get even with Don the dand-y.
Allaying our fears
That he left the Forum
to join Blood, Sweat and Tears.
To tangle with Maryland class.
But she leaves him alone
to play the trombone,
before he lands square on his . . uh, grass.
Was not written with love.
In her poste with haste,
She is not chaste.
For sure, not a Southern dove.
who as sweet as can be
Tells truthes with a smile
while gritting her teeth all the while
Don't mess with her, Ray,
Or I'll have to say
You're not a gentle man by a mile...
Poor Ray wound up cursed.
Not 2 feet of snow but 4
came nigh 1/2 way up his front door.
He'll have time now to rehearse.
And it made a mess of the street
The business was open, you see,
But some employees wanted to ski
So they called and they said
Their battery was dead.
And the snow was so deep
and the street was very steep.
Therefore, they couldn't work today
And maybe the rest of week, who can say.
So, if the the rules they're scorning.
Surprise!!they'll still get a warning.
Who tended to forget decorum
He laid out replies
Which were true in his eyes
But they were sometimes proven wrong by a quorum.
The cause of his fame.
I believe him I do,
If he lies, it's a shame.
He claims to be good
no corroboration is heard.
And he knocks on wood,
Hoping we take him at his word.
That last line was weak, stank like an old truck.
I'm not at my peak, cause it shore did suck.
But I think of the boy, in two feet of snow,
Quit braggin' 'bout horns or yore nose shore will grow!
on the Forum, they liked to play.
They ribbed and they jibed,
on their wit they relied
and made us all laugh on Tuesday.
Who missed the forum like hell
She checked in some times
Wrote some stupid rhymes
That didn't turn out so well.
Brisk Northern winds blown,
Was wishing fried turkey to carve.
She pondered and dreamed,
Fresh corn shucked and creamed,
Never got her mind off Bret Favre.
But it was known all over the land
Although she liked Brett
You can certainly bet
She couldn't get rid of that man.
He'd play out his Sunday game
Show up at mcmel's house on Main
Sit outside and stare
Mcmel pulled her hair
He wouldn't stop shouting her name.
She finally got the police staff
Brett just wanted an autograph
she stopped him from begging
when she signed his leggings
now didn't that give you a laugh?
who tried so hard not to be callous
Her name was Judy
and she did her duty
Trying never to show all the malice
Judy's the Queen.
She should certainly work from a palace.
Let's lift up a mug,
A toast and a hug
For her humor and absence of malice.
Now it's twice she's been put on suspension.
During Kerry's grande scheme,
Like the moon she would beam.
And his praises were all she would mention.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
So Brett Favre sits outside in his fabulous ride
And pines for the autograph Mel signs.
His time he's a wastin', she ain't givin in,
And this year he will finally resign.
the gap 'tween the sexes is thinning
The pace never slows
from whitty minds it flows
If they stopped now it would be sinning.
I'd light my hair on fire
The decision would be lousy
Maybe they'll bring back Majkowski
But then I'll have someone else to desire
And I've heard it from his own mouth.
His muscles are achin',
From bad luck his heart's breakin'
All that's left is his quandry and doubt.
His dad died suddenly last year,
His momma's still lives down here,
First his brother-in-law died,
Then his wife heard and cried
The report she hated to hear.
His daughters need Dad by their side
Fun to have and places to ride.
They'll be grown and gone soon
Overhead a full moon,
Let Green Bay's memory just slide.
Brett isn't done with his sport
He'll be back in force
As a Packer of course
Now I won't be a big worry-wart.
One more year of Lambeau Field glory.
Packer fans are in Heaven,
He'll win at least seven,
But, no ring, and for that I am sorry.
So, we'll loan him to you one more year,
Celebrate with a cold cup of cheer,
Soon enough 'twill be over
His retirement home's clover
Will beckon him right back down here!
x:D