Sticky situation, need advice.

rad · September 2003

I need advice, please! My boss just called me to say that she will be in Boston next month to celebrate my fifth service anniversary. She works in another state. I was stunned and tried to downplay the whole thing because I HATE parties. I do not like calling attention to myself or being the center of attention. What do I do? Do I suck it up and just go along with it or do I call her back and explain that although I appreciate the gesture, I'd prefer if just she and I went for coffee or something? I am quickly working myself into a full blown anxiety attack just thinking about this.

scottorr · September 2003

You sound like my brother in-law. He hates attention, as a matter of fact, he gets light headed and some times passes out if too much attention is focused on him. It sounds to me like they are very happy that you made it five years and want to congratulate you. I think you should suck it up, the attention will only last a couple of minutes. And by the way, congratulations!

System · September 2003

Hi Rad!

What does she mean by celebration? A luncheon doesn't seem intolerable. I hate those things too, but they're a fact of life like surprise birthday parties. I say live through it with grace.

rad · September 2003

Thank you both. I know you are both right, I just need to grin and bear it, but I get like scottorr's brother in law, I may have to take a tranqualizer so I don't freak out. :-S

psrcello · September 2003

Good grief - an employer who actually WANTS to express appreciation to an employee for a job well done over the past five years!?!?!?!?! How wonderful for you!

If you're really afraid that you may have a full-blown panic attack, talk to your doctor - xanax may help you get through the ordeal. In any event, I'd say inhale deeply, think positive thoughts, and move out of your comfort zone for a couple of hours so that your boss can express her thanks in a public way. Think of what a motivator this can be for the others in attendance!

Ruby Tuesday · September 2003

Rad, I'm with you. I do not like being the center of attention either so I feel your pain. What I do in those circumstances is try to remember that the people throwing the party and the people attending are doing it/attending because they care. I try to be gracious and thankful (even though I'm dying inside of embarrassment)and you know I AM thankful for my friends/loved ones and I DO appreciate their thoughtfulness. Just remember that it's only those first few minutes when you walk into the room and they present you with the award that you are in the 'spotlight'. After that everyone will be mingling amongst themselves talking, laughing and just enjoying themselves. That is the time that you should enjoy yourself too. Suck it up for those first few minutes and then enjoy. Paste a smile on your face and try to bury the anxiety and really try to enjoy your moment - you've deserved it!

ray a · September 2003

Interesting how we all do not like the limelight. I'm the same. But, how would you feel if this milestone was completely ignored and maybe even your boss called you on that day and chewed you out? There are worse things than a little celebration. In 2 weeks we are having a big banquet with about 55 ee's who have had their 5th anniversary this year - I'm one of them. My current employer bought out the former employer 5 years ago, so most are the original ee's. I would be celebrating my 25th if we still had the original owners.

Congratulations, Rad.

rad · September 2003

Congratulations to you too, Ray. I'll send you a piece of my cake!

ray a · September 2003

Good, I'll send you some leftover Prime Rib.

Leslie · September 2003

Congratulations rad! And don't get too worked up. Who knows, she just may be taking you to lunch and wants to hand the award to you for a personal touch. Get yourself all anxious and you might be disappointed if there aren't 25 people in the room!

Parabeagle · September 2003

I can relate, Rad. Went through something similar a few years ago with the anxiety and everything that entails. I would suggest that you do whatever relaxes you the most just prior to the event (short of getting hammered, of course x;-) ) and just grin and bear it. It will not last forever and it's only a day. Good luck. My thoughts are with you. x:-)

Sticky situation, need advice.

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