FMLA and Parent

Ty · August 2003

I have an employee who would like to take FMLA leave intermittently for her father.Her father is terminally ill and being taken care of by hospice, the problem that I have with this is my employee does not live in the same town as her parents she lives 2 hrs away.He has a wife and other siblings that live in the same town as the father and can care for his needs. My employee is wanting to be able to leave work at any time should he be come critical. She has exhausted all of her PTO time so she is looking for another avenue for time off. I feel that this is stretching the rules to be eligible for FMLA Leave. I need some feedback on this.

LindaS · August 2003

If her parent has a serious health condition as defined by the regulations, it is NOT up to you to decide who would be best for caring for that person. The facts are simple, her parent is ill, she is needed to care for him (keep in mind psychological care is included), and is requesting time off. Grant her the time, as long as she qualifies, and if you find out that she is "abusing" the leave you can deal with that issue at that time. I don't think 2 hours is "stretching" anything.

sonny · August 2003

When my father was terminally ill and being taken care of by hospice I lived 1,100 miles away. My mother was with him, I had a sibling that lived in the same town and one that lived four hours away. I flew home every 2-3 weeks for about 6 months to give them some relief and spend every possible second I could with him. Had some one suggested to me that because I had family who lived in closer proximity hence they could care for his needs, I would have been livid. Granted I had tons of PTO and a understanding employer. Nonetheless, I am not sure how this ee is stretching the rules..also, if I am understanding your post, she is just looking leave if he becomes critical, not everyday. I've known some rotten people in my day, but can't imagine this employee is using her dying father just to get leave. Anyway, I agree with Linda..give her the time. She has needs as well.

Whatever · August 2003

I agree with the above response. I would add, that if the parent is being taken care by a hospice they are close death. If the parent becomes critical, he is very close to death. I would give her the FMLA.

Ty · August 2003

Thank you all for the responses. Believe me we are not an uncaring organization when it comes to our employees and their needs. What has happened here is the employee is already on FMLA for a spouse and has had to take some unpaid leave, since they have used up all their accrued PTO time. This is the second year the employee has taken FMLA leave for the spouse. The employee has put quite a burden on their department with the FMLA time they have taken already for their spouse, and their supervisor is becoming very frustrated, the department is crucial to the operation of our organization. It's not that we did not want to accommodate the employee, and no one wants to be the bad guy when it comes to a parent who is terminally ill.

sonny · August 2003

Thanks for the additional info.

healthVP · August 2003

All employers and HR administrators must recognize that life happens. An employee should not be penalized in any way because multiple courses of serious events affect their ability to work. Thus was the case offered by TY, Fl who indicated that the employee in question had used an FMLA to care for a spouse the previous year. While unusual, it should be recognized that this employee is under enormous never ending stress related to situations out of their control. Follow the laws as written and walk a mile in their shoes. That would definately change your outlook.

Balloonman · August 2003

I want tell you how I look at it. I began work mid August and right before Thanksgiving my grandfather died. Funeral the following week as the grandkids could not get back from around the country as it was the Thanksgiving weekend. Missed 4 days, maybe 5 I don't recall. Mom was sick while I was home, went to the doctor while I was travelling back. Found out the following week mom had cancer. Went through the mental roller coaster, lung cancer, 18 months to 2 years to live etc. Decided that I should go home the weekend after new years (30 day advanced fare) to spend some time with mom, knew/ was told plenty of time.
Things turned bad, my sister (nurse practicioner) went up. Saturday before I was going to visit my sister called, said come now if you want to see mom. Booked the first flight in the am on Sunday, called my boss explained I needed to go home. Mom died that Saturday night before I got home. x:-( I ended up missing the following week. Never was a word said other than we are sorry see you when you get back.
Had I not been treated like this I am sure my feelings for my company would be different. I missed 10 days of work in my first 120 days of employment due to two deaths. I also know that I would not appreciate anyone telling me who should or should not care for a sick relative. If she is not abusing it, don't sweat it.
My $0.02 worth.
DJ The Balloonman

System · August 2003

Balloonman, I am so sorry about your mom! When mine passed she lived overseas, so I live two hours away from my son, who has a mental illness and needs a psychiatrist, psychologist, and several other professionals. Thank God he is extremely healthy and physically sound, so I don't have that issue to deal with, but he has been in a mental hospital three times. I also have to attend monthly meetings with these professionals and therapy sessions, all two hours away. If management told me I couldn't go to one of these meetings or leave to make it to the hospital for visiting time, I'd have to walk out and take the consequences. We have a moral responsibility to our coworkers and subordinates, and compassion is as important as the law. If she isn't abusing the system, don't worry about it.

Balloonman · August 2003

Thanks Linda.
Funny thing is now, when I am recruiting a candidate for a sales or office job I explain to them I turned down a large company to come here, and about how I was treated when this happened. Goes a long way in letting them know what we are like and how we treat our people.
I also think it actually helped me be that much more aware of how sensitive this issue can be.
My $0.02 worth.
DJ The Balloonman

Ty · September 2003

Thanks to everyone who responded.We really aren't as mean as you think! Just skeptical feeling abused but not sure if you know what I mean. What has happened now is the employee has not been able to get a doctor to complete the Certification of Health Care provider for her husband for the second year, so now she has asked us to cancel her FMLA for her husband. When the completed paperwork came back from the doctor finally on her father she received the leave. Our main problem with this situation was trying to get all the paperwork back inorder for either of the leaves to be approved.

Nrdgrrl · September 2003

Ty, I know how you feel. We had a young woman that was in her late teens, early twenties, that took 3 leaves in the 3 years she worked for us. They were always in November and December, and always for mental health reasons.

Now before I get egged, I do have to say that she was seen out partying very hard at many bars during these leaves, but we did have Dr. cert, so had to give her the time....

(She ended up not coming back from the 3rd one)

FMLA and Parent

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