He's messing around with the cleaning lady...

No, this is not a summary of a Seinfeld episode!
We have an employee who is widely known to have some kind of relationship with a woman who cleans our offices. This woman is not an employee, she works for a small cleaning company that we've hired to come in twice a week. This apparently has been going on for a year or so. The employee also has a wife...a fact that is upsetting those who know of the apparent affair.

The issues seem to be the PDA's (public displays of affection, though I'm unclear on the extent) and the fact that he's so chivalrous (he takes the trash out for her) which interferes with his own job.

We don't have an anti fraternization policy, and in fact have a lot of couples and family members in the company at varying levels. I'm worried how to move forward with this. The manager wants it to stop, and I get the feeling the manager is upset from a moral standpoint. While that is certainly understandable, the employee isn't really breaking any rules. It isn't an issue of a conflict of interest because this employee has nothing to do with the cleaning company we choose to use. How should we go about disciplining the employee?

I didn't mention, but the manager who is upset is a new manager to this location (has been with the company many years though) and is upset that the previous manager let this go on for so long.

Also, couldn't we just speak to this cleaning lady or her boss and ask that the relationship be kept strictly off of company property lest they risk losing our business?

My guess is that there's a really easy solution to this that I'm completely missing. Thanks in advance for your fantastic suggestions :o)


Comments

  • 15 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I would have your employee's manager pull him aside and tell him what has come to your attention. Advise him that it's none of the company's business how he runs his personal life, however it seems to have crossed over into his professional life and is affecting how others perceive him.

    Advise him that PDA's are inappropriate at work, regardless of who the two people involved are, and it needs to stop. He also needs to complete his own work, not that of the cleaning lady. Her employer is paid to make sure the trash is taken out.
  • How about asking the cleaning company to transfer her to another firm and get a replacement?
  • It's a small cleaning service, in fact, I believe it's just her and the owner...not like that's a good excuse though.
  • I think you do have a fairly easy solution. The "jerk who cheats on his wife" (not that I'm biased) should be reminded of two important features of his job--carrying out the garbage is probably not (I'm guessing) in his job description, and PDAs can form a basis for environmental sexual harassment if others who see the PDAs are offended.

    It would be appropriate to remind him of his job duties (and what are not his job duties) in the context of dialog that appreciates his willingness to help others but he may be crossing over an invisible line where it is beyond general courteous assistance.

    It is also your duty to consider the sexually hostile work environment. His (and the maid's) intentions are no consideration in that type of situation. All that matters is that he/she do engage in 'public' displays in front of other workers, and one or more other workers are offended by it. If you don't address that and on the offended workers carries the complaint to an outside agency, you will wish that you had addressed it.

    As for the sensitive nature of the situation, some in a discrete meeting with the "jerk" could remind him that while there are intangible qualities, such as respect, character, leadership, that contribute very much to how others (including coworkers) perceive him. The better he can project himself in a positive manner to coworkers, the more successful he will find his interactions with them and their support for him. Only he can breach his standing with others in these areas, and if he does, he is at risk for losing credibility, thus respect & support, and may find eventually that others are not willing to support him (or buy in if the need arises) in the future.

    best wishes
  • Oh yea, if you don't have a nonfraternization, ethics, or conflict of interest policy, including with contract labor, now might be a good time to think about one. Any or all could be valuable tools in the future.
  • We don't have a non-fraternization policy because of the way the company has grown over the years (everyone is married or related to someone, it's nuts). We do have ethics and conflicts of interest policies, but this employee is displaying poor moral judgement (can't write him up for cheating on his wife) also, I don't feel that it's any of the company's business if they have a relationship, just that they don't have one at work...who knows, maybe he and his wife have an open marriage, it's none of my business, so I don't think it falls under ethics at all really. It's not a conflict of interest either because he has no say in who we hire or retain for our cleaning services.

  • Thank you very much. I think everything you suggested is spot-on. I'll be speaking with the manager today, and he'll be speaking with the employee next Monday. I'll let you all know how it goes.


  • Ditto to HRQ. Whenever I have had to have this conversation, it goes something like this.....What you do on your time is your business, but when your personal relationships begin interfering with work, they become our business. I then tell them they have to keep their personal relationship out of the workplace. I think it is important it come across as how it impacts you as an employer and that it is not a moral judgment.

    Good luck!

    Cheryl
  • You are paying for the cleaning service, so have the cleaning done after work hours when all your employees are gone.
  • Update:

    The meeting went well, the manager stayed away from his personal feelings in the situation, thankfully.
    The employee was agreeable and understanding of the company's position, and hopefully it's all done now.

    Thanks.
  • Glad to hear it all went well. Hooray!
  • I love it when employees actually take the conversation well, and with an appropriate level of maturity. Too bad that is not the norm...
  • Did having his wife's cell phone number written on a fairly obvious post-it note help?
  • Oh darn, that would have been a good one!! The manager had suggested that we have both women in the meeting, just a friendly introduction x0:)


  • OH, NO! It was better the way you did it. That way, the cleaning woman won't have to clean up the blood on the floor.

    Good job. LOL
Sign In or Register to comment.