Oil & Water

HRH · May 2005

We are a small (55) company and within our Design Department (4 people) we have two very talented people who just seem to hate each other. I have been asked to get involved for the first time. Individually they are each bright, intelligent, nice people. Neither has ever violated a company policy and both have great value to the firm. Their personalities just seem to grate on each other. Any suggestions of how I might handle this???

TN HR · May 2005

Sit down and talk to each one individually. Listen, take notes. You're looking for a solution before you know what the problem is.

Come back to the forum once you've done this.

marc · May 2005

Another approach is to get both of them together and spell out the expectation that they adopt a level of professionalism that will require the highest level of teamwork and the expectation that their personal dislikes will not be evident in the workplace.

They do not have to like each other, but you can expect them to leave the personality differences at the door.

Don D · May 2005

Rather than have them perceive that you have intruded yourself upon them, do this:

1) Ask the manager who wants you involved to tell them that you are going to get involved and why.

2) Meet with them in a site neutral for them, your office, a conference room, a picnic table.

3) Say, "Ok guys, you both know why I'm here. Let's talk. Each of you tell me three things you want the other to keep doing, to stop doing and to start doing. I'm taking notes, you go first. Absolutely no talking or interrupting while the other is speaking.

HRH · May 2005

Many thanks!

HRinNH · May 2005

Lots of good suggestions so far. Wish I had seen them a long time ago. There's a woman I supervise that is this way with me. Nothing I have done for the past 9 years has helped. So now I just do my job and smile. I'm sure she has a photo of me with pin holes all through it in her desk.

Cheryl C.

Dasher · May 2005

Have had some success with "How to Work With Just About Anyone" a little booklet (under 200 pages)by Lucy Gill. It gives a three-step process for getting difficult people to change. It is not a cure all, but I use it and let others borrow it (sometimes I just hand it to them after a meeting).

owenlady · May 2005

Do you know where I could purchase this booklet? Sounds like a good reference tool.

Thanks.

Dasher · May 2005

Believe I purchased it through SHRM, though not positive. Try e-mailing [email]shrm@shrm.org[/email] or visit
[url]www.shrm.org[/url].

It is a Fireside Book published by Simon and Schuster, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, NY,NY 10020. ISBN 0-684-85527-5.

Hope you like it.

LarryC · May 2005

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 05-06-05 AT 06:27AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Barnes & Noble carry it for $11. By the way, very good book, Dasher. Good find.

LarryC · May 2005

Judging from your post, HRH, it seems that oil and water are professional people and must have brains and therefore, reasoning power. That's a good start and following the given advise thus far should provide some result in the right direction. Often times I've seen the following happen as a result of intervention in the workplace. Both oil and water will be smart enough to "see" that their clash has gotten the attention of "higher ups" and that furtherence could lead to discipine. They then will ally with eachother out of self preservation to at least bring their issues below the radar. It's called survival and practiced by the more intelligent among us. It'll be interesting. Good luck.

E Wart · May 2005

I don't know why, but I have had this same problem with Designers. Could it be that they are just more tempermental or something?
To be honest, we couldn't come up with a solution. We ended up putting them as far as possible apart from each other and just told them to leave each other alone and tried to separate the work so they didn't have to deal with each other. I hate to say it, but it sort of worked. This was a very close department so there were always sides and preferences. It was a shame that they didn't get along because that dept did all types of fun things together and this sort of stopped that.
E Wart

Oil & Water

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