Employee's Spouse Harassing HR

Here's the sitch:

Outside sales person's wife calls HR and rants about insurance policy changes and the feeling that no one has told her anything. Insurance changed in July - was not a "significant event" as defined in Section 125. Husband was made aware of changes in June and July. Wife has called at least five times in the last three days - doesn't let anyone answer her questions, berates HR, doesn't listen to suggestions, doesn't seem to believe her husband was given information, tells HR person not to tell her husband she called (!). The woman is not well.
She called me, (in house counsel) I let her rant about 15 minutes, sent her a Fed Ex that included all insurance information as well as an explanation of Section 125. I also sent her a copy of her husband's signed Section 125 elections from last year.
Apparently my letter upset her (I let HR and another manager read it before I sent it to her so that I would avoid setting her off), and she called HR again and went on another tirade - telling HR she didn't know how to do her job, then asking questions about how old I was and whether I ever had a mammogram (see- she's not "all there"). HR took this for about 10 minutes, then hung up on the woman, crying. I called the husband and told him I did not want his wife calling the office again unless she could be civil. He defended his wife. I also explained that we were not insurance administrators and that we had told his wife on several occasions to call our insurance administrator - but she refused, saying that we (company) should have all of the answers regarding what was covered under the insurance. (She has the summary of plan benefits, same as we do). On earlier occasions when HR still had some patience, she tried to go over the SPB but the spouse wouldn't let her speak.

Does anyone have any advice as to how to deal with her? The phone calls have become pure harassment at this point.

Also, can her behavior affect our decisions regarding his employment?

Thanks for any advice and for reading this long story! Although I am in-house, I am more contract/intellectual property/business agreement oriented.

Catherine

Comments

  • 19 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • From this point forward if she calls simply tell her that since she is not an employee she needs to contact the insurance company or speak with her husband. Don't put yourself and your HR department at the mercy of her tantrums.

    I would also bring the employee in and discuss with him her behavior and let him know that anytime she calls you will simply disconnect the call if she becomes irate.

    Not sure about how her antics affect her husbands employment - I'm sure you will get some good advice shortly from other's in the forum.

    Good luck!!!
  • I believe your obligation is to the employee - period. You do not have an obligation to explain anything to the spouse, especially one who is irrational. I would refuse to accept her calls at this point, and let the ee know that all communication will be through him only. And stress again to the ee that he should try to control his wife's behavior.
  • Ray dear, only the little woman can control her own behavior. Ward can not. x}>
  • I knew that statement would get me in trouble. I guess not every man has his wife trained as I do. x0:)
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-08-04 AT 09:01AM (CST)[/font][br][br]You inform the employee of her calls, notify him that as his employer you will answer any questions he may have, however, you will no longer accept her phone calls. Be sensitive to his situation as I'm sure its humiliating for him, and of course he would defend her; its his wife and that's what he should do. Don't threaten the employee; he cannot control his spouse. Nor should you base employment decisions on her behavior; he is not responsible for her behavior. Just let him know what the boundaries are so he's prepared to deal with the outcome at home. I would then instruct your staff to not accept any phone calls from her, and when she calls, simply tell her that you are not available to assist her, say "goodbye" and hang up; which you will most likely have to do over her talking. If you have a voice messaging system, turn it on and screen your calls. While we in HR strive to be helpful, there are those we are not qualified to help and she sounds like one of them. She will most likely eventually stop calling when she can no longer engage you or your staff in discussion.
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-08-04 AT 09:21AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Looks like you've gotten great advice to me. The woman sounds terribly frustrated and at her wits end, probably because of what she deems her husband's incompetence to grasp and share information with her, but an analysis of her behavior is useless and a non-productive use of my time.

    I agree with the other advice you have gotten. The only thing I'm left wondering, rather than whether you've had a mamogram, is whether she has had a psychological work-up?

    Do be prepared for her next move, which is showing up on the company doorstep ranting, "SOMEBODY is going to SEE ME by God!"
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-08-04 AT 09:30AM (CST)[/font][br][br]If she shows up on the doorstep, you have her escorted out by the facility security personnel and warn her if she returns you will have her arrested. Then notify the employee of your actions.
  • Answers to your questions:
    I have. She hasn't.

    Enquiring minds do want to know.

    Hee hee hee.
  • What makes you so sure about her? I would just add that everyone (in front office or wherever one can come into the facility) should be aware of the problem with her and if she is sighted anywhere in vicinity, call security. I take it she has not threatened anyone yet. This is the kind of situation that could get out of hand easily. If she continues to call after you stop talking to her, you may have to consider an injunction. In MI we have what are called personal protection orders that are fairly effective and pretty simple to get. Good luck.
  • Good advice from all. Just refuse to talk with her and hang up. Let the spouse know what your actions are and what you intend to do every time she calls.

    Most state have laws where you can go thru your phone company and law enforcement and have these calls deemed harassing or even threatening (if they get to that point).


  • I wonder how much of the madness could have been averted with an ingenuous apology to her at the outset. The first rule when faced with an irate customer is to let them vent and express that you "feel their pain". I know she's not your customer but seems it would have been worth a try and may have created goodwill instead of bad.

    Secondarily, HIPAA regulations would have prevented me from sending her a copy of any form he signed.
  • HIPPA only covers MEDICAL information. There is no reason if she is covered under the policy, that she can't have a copy of what is covered and what is not. What her husband signed does not have MEDICAL information on it.
  • >I wonder how much of the madness could have been
    >averted with an ingenuous apology to her at the
    >outset. The first rule when faced with an irate
    >customer is to let them vent and express that
    >you "feel their pain". I know she's not your
    >customer but seems it would have been worth a
    >try and may have created goodwill instead of
    >bad.
    >
    >Secondarily, HIPAA regulations would have
    >prevented me from sending her a copy of any form
    >he signed.


    HIPPA applies to MEDICAL information about an employees treatment or condition. It does not apply to the SPD or the insurance policy it self. The form that her husband signed would not have any MEDICAL information on it and would not be covered under HIPPA.


  • What was sent was the employee's signed Section 125 elections. I would not have sent it. The employee can give his spouse a copy if he wants her to know everything he elected.
  • Hmmm. Does "I'm really sorry" sound like an appropriate enough apology? Not that she listened when I personally said that several times.

    As to HIPAA. Maybe I should be concerned that I sent the election sheet. Since the election covered her as well, I didn't see the harm. I don't think the policy behind HIPAA is to keep spouses in the dark.



    Thanks-
    Catherine
  • The only thing I would have done differently is given a copy to the employee telling him the spouse was requesting it. You did not violate HIPAA by sending it directly to the spouse.
  • Hi Catherine -- I didn't mean to offend with my comments . . . the part where you apologized several times was omitted from your original post, and the entire situation just sounded so confrontational. I,too, have had many encounters with unreasonable people and I know sometimes there's just no making them happy. I also know how frustrating healthcare/insurance issues can be, so my heart goes out to people in the midst of a battle like that.

    Also, I wish I wouldn't have said "HIPAA", but these days I do believe it's wise to err on the side of caution . . . i.e., you could never get in hot water by NOT sending a copy of a form in a situation like that.
  • Maybe she could have covered all bases by telling the woman, "I am sending in the mail today, addressed to your husband, a copy of his elections form." Knowing the wife would open it anyway.
  • Don I told you on another thread that you have the best HR mind I know of. Am in awe, again!
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