Just a 'Heads Up" this morning
Hunter1
808 Posts
This afternoon I will attend the funeral of one of our employees, a firefighter, who, after attending a morning of training during which everyone said he acted normal, went home during lunch and apparently took his own life. He joked with co-workers, asked questions, and took notes, leaving his books open and ready for the afternoon session.
This excellent employee, who was scheduled for minor surgery for a work-related condition this week, and who I had worked with personally on setting up a limited duty return to work plan for after surgery, apparently obsessed with the possibility that he would not be able to get back to 100% and 'carry his weight' with his coworkers. He was already eligible for early retirement, and there's no question that even if he had not returned to full duty (an unlikely chance) that we would have worked with him to provide work within his capabilities until he was ready to retire.
We're bringing in counselors from our EAP, and hopefully doing the right things after the fact, but no one saw this coming.
Thanks for listening. Keep your eyes and ears open to subtle changes in your employees and others who are important to you.
This excellent employee, who was scheduled for minor surgery for a work-related condition this week, and who I had worked with personally on setting up a limited duty return to work plan for after surgery, apparently obsessed with the possibility that he would not be able to get back to 100% and 'carry his weight' with his coworkers. He was already eligible for early retirement, and there's no question that even if he had not returned to full duty (an unlikely chance) that we would have worked with him to provide work within his capabilities until he was ready to retire.
We're bringing in counselors from our EAP, and hopefully doing the right things after the fact, but no one saw this coming.
Thanks for listening. Keep your eyes and ears open to subtle changes in your employees and others who are important to you.
Comments
Hunter 1, I want to express my condolences, having experienced something similar with someone I had greeted at the coffee bar or workroom for virtually every work day for 28 years! We all asked ourselves, and continue to ask, if there was some clue and we could have intervened. But what we do realize now, with input from the investigating officer and her family, is that she was really living two lives, having terribly misled her family about a recent promotion and salary increase, having misled co-workers about the success of a family business venture, the family apprently unaware that she was in financial problems with credit card bills coming here at work, etc. Our EAP counselor helped beyond measure. A major realization was that when you know someone at work, you only know one part of their lives.
Cinderella
We'll be keeping you in our prayers and thoughts.
I have to balance taking an unstable nurse out of a patient care situation to avoid hurting patients or terminating her on the chance that she will do something to herself. We really have no choice in the matter.
May we all have a better day, and a Blessed one to understand what we can and to be at peace with what is beyond our understanding. We humans are giving the right to make choices and travel our paths of life, as we see fit. Some of us have the ability to look through life's issues and pressures to take the right bends, turns, stops, and go and some us simply make the ending of our travels a "decision"! Take care of the family and the loving friends and provide them with a steady hand to hold in each one's path of life as we all travel to the end in our own way, "to each his own"! We are with you!
PORK
Take care.
From the sounds of it you are definitely doing the right thing by using the counselors. I hope it helps the employees and their loved ones.
God Bless!
Hunter, I don't envy you this day. I know you're up to handling it though because of who you are. Hang tough. Don
Cinderella
I agree with Don wholeheartedly. You cannot torture yourself with "what if..." and "if only...", there are no answers for this kind of tragedy, and even if there were, they wouldn't make you feel better about it.
The only things for you to do is grieve as you see fit, offer comfort to those around you, and accept comfort from others.
I had a department supervisor who had an office next to mine. We talked and joked all the time. He spoke lovingly about his 2 sons and wife.
One day his wife called and said he would not be into work. I asked if he would be in the next day. She said no, because he hanged himself in the garage last night. And she said it just like that. I know she was in shock but I can still hear those words in my head. I, too, searched for a reason. I felt that because we talked so much, surely I missed something.
But it doesn't work that way. You just learn to live with it and become a stronger person.