sex change employee
sunshine state
31 Posts
We have a male employee who has legal change of name and is undergoing sex change. Many of our employees do not like this has anyone else had this problem, how did you deal with it?
Comments
Here in CA, transsexuals have some employment legal protection. I don't know offhand about other states, or the applicability of FMLA or ADA, and perhaps others are experienced with those issues.
But legal coverage is not the real issue. I would urge you to look closely and find out if 1) you or 2) management-that-matters feels this is a moral issue or is otherwise fraught with evil, and that it therefore should be best dealt with by muttered threats, shunning, termination or the like (IMnot-soHO: if the answer is "yes", and it is you, you might consider another profession. If it is your management-that-matters, you should consider another employer). Other than my parenthetical comments, I have no advice if the answer is "yes". Good luck.
If the answer is "no", then you should realize that this person has gone through long periods counseling and therapy before reaching this point, and has struggled with the decision -- indeed, with this issue -- for much of his life. Unless he is getting treatment out of the country, the counseling and therapy are fundamental to such medical treatment, along with a long decision period, and the personal struggle is well-neigh universal.
So what can you do? Just what you would do with any employee whose life is in turmoil. Let him-becoming-her know you understand that there may be times that this is difficult, and that you would like to know if there is anything you can reasonably do to help. Don't make promises, but keep the door open. And let others in management know it is their responsibility to do so as well. You might consider some reading about this as well. Things like Second Serve, the autobiography of Renee Richard (former tennis star, MD and transsexual) might still be available, along with more techical materials. I freely admit that this material can be uncomfortable if it is all new. All the more reason to start.
If he has already had a name change . . . . she is presumably announcing that she wants to be publicly identified as female. You might confirm this with her, and then comport yourself (and your records) accordingly. Hey, maybe it will help with your AAP analysis!
Bathrooms are often an issue, and I would think this through with the person involved, on an on-going basis. It is not likely to be the same answer at all points in time. And make sure management understands and is behind you at each step.
One time when I had this happening in a manufacturing facility, a delegation of men came in furious that the employee in question was using the mens room (it was very early in the change process). They heard back about our harassment policy, and got directions to a bathroom on the far side of the facility that they were welcome to use. To my immense relief, they were followed shortly by a delegation of women who made clear how little they thought of the mens' complaints, and they let me know that they were inviting the person to use any of the womens' bathrooms. In time everyone got back to work and some of the men admitted to being embarassed by their earlier reactions. You should be so lucky!
Regards,
Steve Mac
Steve McElfresh, PhD
Principal
HR Futures
408.605.1870
Good luck.
Evan
>
>Here in CA, transsexuals have some employment legal protection. I
>don't know offhand about other states, or the applicability of FMLA or
>ADA, and perhaps others are experienced with those issues.
>
>But legal coverage is not the real issue. I would urge you to look
>closely and find out if 1) you or 2) management-that-matters feels
>this is a moral issue or is otherwise fraught with evil, and that it
>therefore should be best dealt with by muttered threats, shunning,
>termination or the like (IMnot-soHO: if the answer is "yes", and it is
>you, you might consider another profession. If it is your
>management-that-matters, you should consider another employer). Other
>than my parenthetical comments, I have no advice if the answer is
>"yes". Good luck.
>
>If the answer is "no", then you should realize that this person has
>gone through long periods counseling and therapy before reaching this
>point, and has struggled with the decision -- indeed, with this issue
>-- for much of his life. Unless he is getting treatment out of the
>country, the counseling and therapy are fundamental to such medical
>treatment, along with a long decision period, and the personal
>struggle is well-neigh universal.
>
>So what can you do? Just what you would do with any employee whose
>life is in turmoil. Let him-becoming-her know you understand that
>there may be times that this is difficult, and that you would like to
>know if there is anything you can reasonably do to help. Don't make
>promises, but keep the door open. And let others in management know
>it is their responsibility to do so as well. You might consider some
>reading about this as well. Things like Second Serve, the
>autobiography of Renee Richard (former tennis star, MD and
>transsexual) might still be available, along with more techical
>materials. I freely admit that this material can be uncomfortable if
>it is all new. All the more reason to start.
>
>If he has already had a name change . . . . she is presumably
>announcing that she wants to be publicly identified as female. You
>might confirm this with her, and then comport yourself (and your
>records) accordingly. Hey, maybe it will help with your AAP analysis!
>
>Bathrooms are often an issue, and I would think this through with the
>person involved, on an on-going basis. It is not likely to be the
>same answer at all points in time. And make sure management
>understands and is behind you at each step.
>
>One time when I had this happening in a manufacturing facility, a
>delegation of men came in furious that the employee in question was
>using the mens room (it was very early in the change process). They
>heard back about our harassment policy, and got directions to a
>bathroom on the far side of the facility that they were welcome to
>use. To my immense relief, they were followed shortly by a delegation
>of women who made clear how little they thought of the mens'
>complaints, and they let me know that they were inviting the person to
>use any of the womens' bathrooms. In time everyone got back to work
>and some of the men admitted to being embarassed by their earlier
>reactions. You should be so lucky!
>
>Regards,
>
>Steve Mac
>
>
>Steve McElfresh, PhD
>Principal
>HR Futures
>408.605.1870
Steve: I have to agree with you. I didn't know much about this subject until I saw a documentary on The Learning Channel and I got a whole new understanding of the subject - that this is not something a person would ordinarily "choose" to do, but there is some deep psychological drive or maybe in some cases, partially physical, that is compelling them to change their sex. It is unbelievable what they have to go through to accomplish this and I can't imagine anyone would take this sort of thing lightly.
I think people should be compassionate and understanding, even if they don't completely agree.
Management treated it very simply: Fred is now Wilma. Please refer to her as such.
Wilma had to remind people that she is a "her" and please don't say "him" any more. It just took time for people to change the habit to saying "she/her".
Many female employees complained because Wilma began to wear low cut blouses, short skirts, etc. For halloween, she dressed as a bumble bee in a tube top and hot pants. (Apparently, nothing is being done, for reasons known only to the GM) Wilma is not being held to the same appearance standards as other females in similar positions, and this is what the complaints were about. I don't envy the HR person, as she isn't getting support from her boss.
To answer your question, I would keep it simple. Address employee concerns (i.e. his/hers bathrooms) as needed. Talk to the employee in question about her sensitivity to how others will feel about bathrooms, etc.
Make a conscious effort not to allow others to make a big deal of it. The novelty will wear off eventually if you let it by setting the example.
For the employees that do not like this, you can remind them that there are many things that people do not like about each other, but remind them that this is a work environment so we must all work as a team regardless of our personal prejudice and any harassment will not be tolerated.