When I'm overwhelmed it generally is something I just internalize and wait to pass...naturally to the detriment of my health. But from now on, I will definitely take comfort in viewing these postings. Yesterday was a particularly tough day and the reassurance and comfort I derived just from knowing I am not alone in feeling incompetent, incapable, and doubtful in this always awesome responsibility, was unbelievable.
Thanks to everyone who shares their thoughts not only about all the legal and weird issues but also about personal feelings.
Whenever I am having a bad day I tune in to Maury Povich on the radio during my ride home from work. The "who's my baby's daddy" episodes and the girls who yell "you don't know me!!!" at the audience sets me straight and gives me a great laugh by the time I get home.
All the advice given has been great - I've been so overwhelmed this week that I haven't even had time to check the Forum. When things get this bad (250 people, 2 plants, no help, and just got another boatload of work added) I go home, take a long bubble bath and sip champagne in the tub. Works every time. I also have learned to priortize and to say "no" to non-essential requests. An attorney recently told me (before my deposition) that the problem with HR people is that they are "helpers" and try to assist everyone, regardless of the situation. I think he's right but if we try to help everyone, we may not be able to help anyone.
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 06-27-03 AT 08:26AM (CST)[/font][p]I totally understand where you're coming from. For the past year and a half, I have been the sole HR Manager (with no subordinates to delegate to) as well as being the sole IT Manager (with no subordinates) and the sole Facilities Manager (with no subordinates). I can't focus on any one thing or accomplish many tasks, much less large projects. Very frustrating. What I've done is finally accept the fact that I can't do all the work. I just have to prioritize and do the most important things first or "oil the sqeakiest wheel". The rest will have to wait.
I'm with Sunny about champagne and a bubble bath, but...
I'd encourage you to start a folder that remains in your desk drawer at all times. Label it "Reasons I Do This." Put in it notes that you receive from your employees thanking you for what you did for them. Or make a note to put in the file reminding you about a particularly affirming conversation you had with an employee or your boss. When you have the kind of day you describe, shut your door and take 15 minutes to review the file. It has kept me in the profession when I was just hanging on by a string and has restored my perspective about HR.
My favorite note involves a woman I worked with about eight years ago. She was a Marketing Coordinator who was in a training class I was teaching about Work Styles. As an illustration (and to make everyone laugh), I told the class what my particular style was and that it was what enabled me to talk to employees I'd never met before that appeared at my doorway crying or angry. I laughed and said, "As the VP of HR, no one ever bounces into to my office to tell me how much they love their boss, their job, our beneefits, etc." Everyone laughed and I moved on. A week later this person was on my calendar for a one-on-one meeting at 8:30 am Friday morning. No one in HR knew why she wanted to see me. She was known to be very candid about the things she didn't like about our company, managers, etc. I steeled myself for a meeting that I knew was going to ruin my weekend. She appeared, closed my door (You can imagine what I'm thinking) and she says, "In our training class last week, you said...(repeating what I'd said about my job). I thought about what you said and I bet that's true. I couldn't stand to think about that happening without my telling you how much I appreciate what you've done for all the emplyees here and for me in particular. While we give you a hard time about what we don't like, we know that it would be a whole lot worse if you weren't here. I thought I should come thank you for what you do on behalf of all the employees." I wrote a quick synopsis of the conversation and dropped it into my file. Everytime I open that file, the note is there and it makes me to think about that moment in my career. It also makes me able to "pat myself back into shape" and go at it again almost immediately.
You have those same moments (We all do. See Don D's story about the gentleman he had to lay off), but they get lost in the shuffle of the day-to-day negative stuff we deal with all the time. Start your folder. You'll be amazed at the sheer volumn of stuff you'll have to put in it.
Take heart. It's a hard job and it grinds a lot of people down. You wouldn't be a "hero" and constanly on this Forum looking for solutions to your employee's problems if you weren't made of very special "inside stuff."
Comments
Thanks to everyone who shares their thoughts not only about all the legal and weird issues but also about personal feelings.
I truly appreciate and cherish this forum.
April
Hope your week gets better.
I'd encourage you to start a folder that remains in your desk drawer at all times. Label it "Reasons I Do This." Put in it notes that you receive from your employees thanking you for what you did for them. Or make a note to put in the file reminding you about a particularly affirming conversation you had with an employee or your boss. When you have the kind of day you describe, shut your door and take 15 minutes to review the file. It has kept me in the profession when I was just hanging on by a string and has restored my perspective about HR.
My favorite note involves a woman I worked with about eight years ago. She was a Marketing Coordinator who was in a training class I was teaching about Work Styles. As an illustration (and to make everyone laugh), I told the class what my particular style was and that it was what enabled me to talk to employees I'd never met before that appeared at my doorway crying or angry. I laughed and said, "As the VP of HR, no one ever bounces into to my office to tell me how much they love their boss, their job, our beneefits, etc." Everyone laughed and I moved on. A week later this person was on my calendar for a one-on-one meeting at 8:30 am Friday morning. No one in HR knew why she wanted to see me. She was known to be very candid about the things she didn't like about our company, managers, etc. I steeled myself for a meeting that I knew was going to ruin my weekend. She appeared, closed my door (You can imagine what I'm thinking) and she says, "In our training class last week, you said...(repeating what I'd said about my job). I thought about what you said and I bet that's true. I couldn't stand to think about that happening without my telling you how much I appreciate what you've done for all the emplyees here and for me in particular. While we give you a hard time about what we don't like, we know that it would be a whole lot worse if you weren't here. I thought I should come thank you for what you do on behalf of all the employees." I wrote a quick synopsis of the conversation and dropped it into my file. Everytime I open that file, the note is there and it makes me to think about that moment in my career. It also makes me able to "pat myself back into shape" and go at it again almost immediately.
You have those same moments (We all do. See Don D's story about the gentleman he had to lay off), but they get lost in the shuffle of the day-to-day negative stuff we deal with all the time. Start your folder. You'll be amazed at the sheer volumn of stuff you'll have to put in it.
Take heart. It's a hard job and it grinds a lot of people down. You wouldn't be a "hero" and constanly on this Forum looking for solutions to your employee's problems if you weren't made of very special "inside stuff."
Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]