Hickies

Jocelyn · August 2002

In the summer we hire several high-schoolers to work with our elderly residents. A few of these students repeatedly come to work with hickies. Some of our staff members have complained about the unsightliness of these hickies and what they suggest. They want us to do something about it like address it in the dress code or something. We didn't make an issue of tattooes because most have little ones on their ankles or places we can't see. I'm not sure there's anything we can do except remind them about a professional appearance. Anyone else have ideas?

Don D · August 2002

I think if you are concerned that it will be negative for your environment, you are perfectly within your rights to tell the person to cover it with a bandaid until it goes away. I think I can remember that they were embarassing in high school and college; however, today they seem to be a badge of honor. I've seen guys in nursing homes who don't need to be given any ideas too, so I think you should cover them up.

Carol CA · August 2002

Don, I think we are dating ourselves, because I remember that they were embarassing too. But if that is what the kids are doing nowadays, I think it would be appropriate to have a talk with them and let them know it is bothering some of the residents who are a little "old-fashioned". Request that they try to be careful and avoid these hickies, but if they do occur to be sensitive to the residents and cover them up.

Whoever ever said that HR wasn't babysitting!

Don D · August 2002

You know, the really paranoid HR Manager would say "To open up a conversation about half-dollar sized contusions on one's neck might be eliciting information that might reveal a handicap". Perhaps they're not hickies at all, but symptomatic outbreaks of some strange, fatal blood disease. Right, and they only show up on Mondays.

phbair · September 2002

Wait a minute. As I understand your message, it's not the residents, but a few members of your staff that are complaining? Somebody has to say it - why don't these folks get a life? They must be pretty uptight folks to be complaining about kids with hickies. Maybe these staff members were never teenagers, or maybe they avoided that kind of activity, but there is nothing unsafe or even unsanitary about it. You say you don't regulate tatoos. Do you have rules regulating piercings or hair styles or makeup or scents? Are the hickies really interfering with work-related activities, or are they merely fodder for the fuddy-duddy gossip mill? Let the kids alone. If you try to squelch this relatively innocent activity, there's no telling what kind of rebellion you'll cause. Who needs the headache?? ;-)

Carol CA · September 2002

Although I agree that this gets a little silly, these teenagers are employees, not our children. As employees you expect them to behave in a professional manner including proper dress, makeup, hairstyles, etc. If they want to rebell, they can quit. You are within your rights setting appropriate guidelines.

Cinderella · September 2002

Maybe it's not creating an unsafe work situation, but I've heard hickies can be unsafe to the receiver's health. I heard they can cause blood clots....hmmm...????

Cinderella

Rockie · September 2002

Number One: I don't think there is much that anyone coming up these days is embarassed about any more; but....

If this is an issue that creates a distraction in the workplace, I would just advise the "youngsters" that this is not professional and to please cover up with a band aide until it is gone.

Don D · September 2002

Another thought I have is that the very worst message we can send to young workers is that there are either none or very few boundaries in the workplace. Giving them the notion that life is free speech and what I do is nobody's business will produce a group of total non-conformers who won't respect any of businesses' expectations. As Barney (and Rockie) said, "Nip it in the bud". Cover it up or go to the house, and tell them why. I suspect this is a health care setting where indeed it MIGHT make a difference in the resident's reaction and behavior. Even if not, business has every right to enforce customer service expectations and its own notion of what's appropriate appearance.

Rockie · September 2002

Yeah Don. I believe the message is being sent to today's young workers that anything goes. I came up in a very conservative environment - law and banking. I know if I had ever shown up for work dressed the way some of the people in business today come to work, I would be told in no uncertain terms that I no longer had a job.

Later, I found going into healthcare that dress and demeanor were much more relaxed and I find therein a lot of people problem ensue because of this "relaxed" environment. The argument for this, some would say, is the stress of the job. I disagree. I believe people use this as a "crutch" to behave in certain ways. Good taste is good taste and bad taste is bad taste.

For myself, I know if I look particularly good on certain days, I feel better about myself and I act differently than if I know I am not at my best and have a bad hair day.

I think we are setting bad examples in tolerating poor dress and unprofessional behavior in the workplace.

Don D · September 2002

My worst days are those when I forget my pants and nobody has the nerve to tell me. They think its just a curmudgeon thing. It's a good thing we are on this Forum thing by ourselves. Can you believe Margaret is trying to get us to believe she's 47?

Jocelyn · September 2002

I appreciate everyone's comments. If I may not have received the ultimate solution, I have received mirth and delight and the opinion that HR people do have a sense of humor! We are a healthcare organization that includes long term care and I'm grateful for scrubs. For now, we don't have to deal with exposed midsections.

Rockie · September 2002

Hey Jocelyn!

Wait until you have to deal with the person whose scrubs no longer cover their midsection!

Margaret Morford · September 2002

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 09-10-02 AT 10:43AM (CST)[/font][p]Now there's a mental picture I could have done without...but the laugh was worth it.

We had a lady who was quite zoftig. (Don D, it's in Ritaanz 's dictionary. If you're nice to her, maybe she'll tell you what it means!) She was a size 16 "in denial," wearing stretch clothing that was a size 12. Her skirts were in compliance with our dress code in the front (three inches above the knee) but not in the back if you know what I mean. Walking up the stairs behind her was quite an eye opening experience. So I called her manager to ask her to talk to the lady. Her manager tried to wiggle out by saying that she was in compliance. I told the manager to stand behind her because she was only in compliance in the front. The manager then said, "So, you want me to have the big butt talk with her?"

We had a mini-coaching session before their meeting took place. Never a dull moment!

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Margaret Morford · September 2002

Absolutely, I'm 47. I now have to buy my make-up in the spackling department at Home Depot. But worse than that, I have 22 years in HR in some form or fashion. Since we know an HR year is like a dog year, I'm at least 154 years old and some days, it really shows!

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Don D · September 2002

It sure does! x}>

NaeNae55 · September 2002

Margaret, I'm 47 too. Now I see what the problem is. I have been buying my makeup at the wrong place. Next stop: Home Depot!!! xclap

Don: I don't know if we would give an employee a hard time if they came in with a hickie or not (medium age at our company is 47), but I do know I would send them home if they came in without pants. You must work at a very "open" place. x:D

Don D · September 2002

You guys know I was kidding about that! But, if our 47 and up crowd came in with a hickie, we'd probably give them a xclap or at least a th-up.

Gillian · September 2002

I have studiously avoided this one until now, but I can't any longer. Isn't hickey a derogatory word for someone from a rural area?

Don D · September 2002

Gillian, my dear man, if the bookstore on your campus would loan you a collegiate dictionary, you would find that hickey is defined as follows: "A temporary red mark produced in lovemaking by biting and sucking the skin." The word you search for is hick: "An unsophisticated provincial person". I also find that hickey is secondarily defined as the "coupling between an electrical fixture and an outlet box", which brings me to the assumption that there may be a definite link between the skin's temporary red mark and a form of coupling which often may result in a series of simulated electrical shocks to one's person at a certain point in the lovemaking process. Your record now reflects six demerits.

sonny · September 2002

I think he was being faceitous DonD, but thanks for the Websters lesson!

Rockie · September 2002

Dear GAWWWWD! I think we all have been working too hard!

HRGirl · September 2002

Enough Enough....My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. I think my co-workers are planning an intervention. They think I've lost my mind sitting alone laughing hysterically!!

Gillian · September 2002

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 09-04-02 AT 06:03PM (CST)[/font][p]He was, being facetious, that is. He was also fishing, defined in Websters as the art of getting someone to rise to the bait.

ritaanz · September 2002

Alas. My Webster defines "hick" as a city-dweller's derisive term OR an uncouth country yokel. But there is NO mention of hickey. Thanks for the education.
PS I can't get the picture out of my mind of you in work pant-less. x:o

Don D · September 2002

Ritaanz: We've cautioned you before about that old dictionary you brought from New Jersey to Arizona. It came over on the ark before there were hickeys. Please get an updated one.

ritaanz · September 2002

Don, Don, Don. All this time I thought you were an old Southern gentleman. Didn't momma tell you not to mess with Jersey girls? ;;)

Margaret Morford · September 2002

Don D,

So is a "dohicky" when two consenting adults put marks on each other, Mr. Word Wealth?

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

Don D · September 2002

Well, you're close. Actually it's pronounced with a long O. As in Doe-Hickey. That's the one the Pillsbury Doughboy used to come home with and his momma would punch him in the belly with her finger. C'mon Margaret; you're old enough to know these things.......x:-)

Margaret Morford · September 2002

Apparently Curmudgeon High where you went to school was a lot wilder than where I went to school. Thanks for the education and the laughs!

Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]

AnneLa · September 2002

You never know in HR - one minute your're dealing with the FBI, the next hickies.......... x:D

Hickies

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