Difficult Managers

drunkle · August 2001

I currently have one manager (exec. even) that frustrates me to no end. It's the ole Megalomaniac syndrome. Problem is, as frustrating as it is, that he is good. We're a start up, and I can say that the success of this company depends on his knowledge and ability to lead his team. But I am constantly having to tell myself Breath Dana Breath, count to 10 (or 100 or 1000 depending on what he wants me to do) and go to him and explain why we can't do that, or why I need documentation etc. If I ask for something by Friday, he has to get it on Monday just because. The good thing is that he comes to me with what he wants to do instead of just doing it and asking for forgivness later. Had one of those at my last company and boy did I want to put him in the corner for a time out.

How do you handle your difficult managers?

Mike Maslanka · August 2001

take a look at maximum success by james waldrip and dealing with people you can't stand by rick brinkman...while thay are written more from a supervisor's point of view they are helpful in undrstanding why people act the way they do,and how to handle them...also a book called reading your cutomers mind is good--it talks about different communication styles and how to react to them...good luck...mike maslanka

Gracie · August 2001

When it comes to handling difficult people, even if they are not managers, the one good thing we can always do is go and tell them how you feel about things and their responses. Perhaps no one has ever told him/her how their responses have affected them and how they could help others do a better job.

What it takes is a genuine conversation and allowing the other person to clarify their responses and at the same time, opening up a forum for a deeper discussion on how to work positively together. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

If these have been done, and you still do not see any improvements subsequently, then (1) you may want to go up to the next level to expose his "bad" management habits, (2) be the silent lamb and learn to cope with such habits of others, (like telling him only that the deadline is on Wednesday, and he will turn it in on Friday, at the same time when others turn it in as well!) (3) quit your job and go find one where you find no difficult people to work with.

We can choose our responses.

Gar · August 2001

Arrange a meeting and have a serious talk with this person. If that doesn't work, go to the person's boss. If that doesn't work, find employment elsewhere and quit. If he/she is as good as you say, you can bet he/she isn't going anywhere so you'll probably have to. Sounds harsh but that's life.

joyce · August 2001

I agree. Your best bet, unfortunately, may be for you to go elsewhere for employment. I say this because if he is as good a manager as you say albeit for the problem you have with him, upper management will more than likely not support anything you try to do about it. It's unfortunate, but I've been there myself.

Gillian · August 2001

I agree with a lot of what has bee said in the responses, with the exception of one. I think it would be a mistake to go to the next level boss - that would guarantee a rupture in the relationship that you have with this person. There are things to be thankful for - he consults with you, which means he has confidence in you, even more reason not to go above his head. The key to this one is communication and airing things out.

Mike Maslanka · August 2001

gracie makes a great point--first seek to understand---the power of empathy is often overlooked...mike maslanka

Lois · August 2001

You ask how we've handled our difficult managers. One strategy that I've employed more than once is to remind myself that, ultimately, it is their decision and their responsibility. I give my best advice and effort then I let it go.

drunkle · August 2001

Thanks for all of the good advice.

The fact of the matter is that this guy knows his behavior is this way, and doesn't care. It is part of who he is. I handle him by being honest and frank and upfront with him. It's how communication with him works best, it's what he likes and appreciates, and even if you end up not agreeing with him you keep his respect. He does not always get his way, although he tries.

But regardless of how well you learn to communicate with some people, there are always going to be the people who just make you want to roll your eyes and scream. (I always try to do that behind closed doors) I was really just venting.

D

Difficult Managers

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